= 25

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I apologize for not updating in a couple of days, I’m irresponsible and y’all deserve more from me than that. 

Sometimes I think I don’t have anything to say, but those of you who know me in real life know that isn’t true, so I guess sometimes I think the things I have to say aren’t that interesting. 

But if you don’t think I’m interesting, then you can click on one of the interesting links I have on the sidebar. 

So, that being said –

I bought a 1L a coke out of the vending machine today.  He felt bad, and didn’t want to spend my dollar, but I told him I owed everyone at this school a lot of money for cokes, so it was okay. 

Everyone in my corporations class is a lot more with it and together than I am as far as this class goes.  But Tyson did get yelled at for coming into class late, which was pretty funny. (notice, that if I saw this, it means I wasn’t late.  That’s right, I was on time). 

My 8:30 class was cancelled for this morning, which gave me the opportunity to hit snooze hundreds of times.  I mean, I wish I was intelligent enough just to resent my alarm for twenty minutes later.  That way, I would actually get twenty minutes of sleep, instead of waking up every five. 

Did y’all watch that game last night?  It was CRAZY!!!!  I can’t believe Tennessee pulled it out in the end.  Craziness.  I was disappointed by the first half of the game, because it was pretty boring and LSU was killing Tennessee.  I don’t like either team, but I at least wanted it to be a good game.  Well, I got my wish. 

Apparently the reason Vanderbilt is 4-0 is that they have finally gotten some thugs on their football team. 

I need to go the grocery store very badly.  I need some food for lunch, and some pop tarts, and some propel, and some coffee, and some half and half for my coffee.  Maybe I will cook something.  Who knows. 

I finally got my new atm card and got it activated.  This is very exciting because I can now eat at places other than restaurants that take bulldog bucks.  (before I cancelled my card, after I lost it, I put $100 on my UGA card, because I had the card number.  which is how I was able to buy the 1L a coke this morning). 

Even though I’m a terrible student, I actually like being in class.  Because, in class, I’m not suppose to be doing anything.  I’m allowed to play on the internet.  I’m not wasting time on the internet.  I’m keeping myself from losing it during class. 

House comes on tonight.  Who is excited?  I can’t wait!!!!

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Here is a conversation I had with my mother this morning over IM (Bella is our bulldog, pictured on the sidebar):

KHP: we bought bella a hot pink sofa
CKP: stop
KHP: from walmart, your daddy had to get it for her
CKP: sweet
KHP: it folds out into a bed
KHP: we are going to give it to her for christmas
CKP: well
CKP: christmas is a long time away
KHP: I know  i hope she forgets that see saw it
KHP:  It  is a Bratz baby sofa
KHP: it is in the toy section
CKP: are y’all really not going to give it to her till christmas?
KHP: we are going to try to wait
CKP: well, I can’t wait to see it
CKP: I’m sure she will be excited

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Cool things for yuppy parents who are worried about losing their children:

Philips SBC SC605 In-Touch Address Recorder for jittery parents

How much do I love that they have little devices that you can clip on your kid that will play back a recording of where the child lives and the phone number of the parents. 

Philips “No Kidding” wearables help parents track kids under the guise of fun and games

What is no kidding about this little gem is that children aren’t stupid, and I don’t think it is going to take very long for a kid to think it would be cool to leave their "toy" laying around and run off where no one could track him.  I mean really, it is cool that you know where your friends are, but it is also cool for your friend (and parent) to not know where you are.  For the ski slopes, I can maybe understand.  Otherwise, it seems like a terrible "toy" and one that I might possibly "break" by "accident." 

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Just in case you were interested in buying an American Express Gift Card, don’t do it.  Don’t. Do. It. 

American Express Gift Cards can not be shipped you via regular mail, and you are forced to pay for UPS. But they don’t tell you this.  It will give you an option to ship regular mail, but the card won’t get to you because, as a gift card it will be in another person’s name, and the USPS doesn’t deliver credit cards to people other than the person whose name is on the card.  But you can only ship the American Express Gift Card to the billing address of the card you use to buy it – so basically, you are screwed – American Express knows that it isn’t going to work – and let me tell you about getting your money back. 

They really wanted me to let them reissue me another card which they offered to ups to me for free.  But I don’t need the card anymore, it no longer serves the purpose I needed it for, and as such, I want my money back.  And if they send me the card, I can’t cash it, because it isn’t in my name. 

Okay.  Know how American Express Gift Cards and Traveler’s Cheques
claim that you can get your money back in 24 hours around the world?
Well, turns out not if you cancel the card.  If you cancel the card, it
takes up to 30 days (a whole billing cycle) to be refunded your money.
AND they charge you $10 to get it refunded and want to know your SS#, shoe size, and blood
type.  Also, the $14.95 that the card costs – on top of how ever much
you want to be on the card – this isn’t going to be refunded either.
They did tell me that they would file a claim asking for a waiver of
the $14.95 and the $10, but that they couldn’t guarantee that it would
be approved.

So basically, they sold me a product that they KNEW would never reach me, and charged me $25 that was non-refundable. 

Oh, and this doesn’t even get into the buyers protection program with the regular american express credit card, where supposedly they extend your warranty on electronics?  When my laptop that I bought using an American Express card broke, they sent me a check for how much they THOUGHT it should cost to fix.  Much less than the actually cost of repair. 

Whatever, I feel like I’ve been lied to.  Spread the word. 

AMERICAN EXPRESS GIFT CARDS ARE FRAUDULENTLY ADVERTISED AND SOLD. 
AMERICAN EXPRESS GIFT CARDS ARE FRAUDULENTLY ADVERTISED AND SOLD. 
AMERICAN EXPRESS GIFT CARDS ARE FRAUDULENTLY ADVERTISED AND SOLD. 
AMERICAN EXPRESS GIFT CARDS ARE FRAUDULENTLY ADVERTISED AND SOLD. 
AMERICAN EXPRESS GIFT CARDS ARE FRAUDULENTLY ADVERTISED AND SOLD. 
AMERICAN EXPRESS GIFT CARDS ARE FRAUDULENTLY ADVERTISED AND SOLD. 
AMERICAN EXPRESS GIFT CARDS ARE FRAUDULENTLY ADVERTISED AND SOLD. 
AMERICAN EXPRESS GIFT CARDS ARE FRAUDULENTLY ADVERTISED AND SOLD. 
AMERICAN EXPRESS GIFT CARDS ARE FRAUDULENTLY ADVERTISED AND SOLD. 
AMERICAN EXPRESS GIFT CARDS ARE FRAUDULENTLY ADVERTISED AND SOLD. 

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complements of Lil’ Jessie Najjar:

Waffle House’s gorge fest

As part of its 50th anniversary celebration (and perhaps in an
attempt to guarantee that at least one patron won’t live to see the
scattered, covered and chunked chain’s 51st birthday), Waffle House is
sponsoring a world waffle-eating championship. Taking place Sept. 4 at
Stone Mountain Park, the event offers up to $5,000 for the person who
successfully snarfs the most WH signature menu items into their piehole
in a set period of time. Interested parties are asked to register at
http://www.ifoce.com, the official Web site of the International Federation of
Competitive Eating.

While the organization doesn’t list the current world record for
waffle-inhalation, Buzz did learn that it’s humanly possible to consume
6 pounds of baked beans in less than two minutes, seven sticks of
salted butter in five minutes, and 3¸ pounds of pancakes and bacon in
12 minutes. And for the record, it took us just five seconds to pop a
Pepcid AC while typing this

Jessica said she was going to enter.  I’m going to sponsor her and get t-shirts made.  We were kind of thinking about getting a team together so they could train before hand.  Anyone else interested?  Maybe y’all can be "Charlsie’s Chompers."  I don’t know, it is just a thought. 

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Okay, I am in the process of destroying my apartment and trying to put it back together.  There are a couple of things that I seem to possess in excess, and which I have no idea what to do with.  So, any ideas would be greatly appreciated:

1.  CD Jewel Cases.  WTF?  I swear, there is a factory somewhere in my room that has been churning out these damn jewel cases, where they fill them with old cds that are either burned cds with no label or scratched cds of albums which I forgot I ever owned but cannot listen to due to their disreputable condition. 

2.  Orphan Socks.  The percentage of socks that get divorced in my apartment is much higher than the percent of people that get divorced in America as a whole.  I would like to do something about this upsetting problem, but I’m not sure how to stop them from running off into the dark under my bed and under the washer and dryer. 

3.  Picture Frames.  A few years back I stopped sitting picture frames around because they just collect dust unless they are hanging on the wall.  I have a few pictures around, but a precious few.  But that doesn’t change the fact that I have a million picture frames with pictures starting back in high school and the newest being from around five years ago.  I can’t throw them away.  What do I do with them?  Gah. 

Decisions, decisions.  Yawn. 

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You know on those Craftmatic bed commercials, how they ask you if you have back problems? And how if you don’t get around well, you should get a craftmatic bed?

And then they show you all the different positions to which the bed will adjust? 

Whoever makes these commercials should think about how fast they move the bed around, because it makes my back hurt just watching the bed adjust to it’s different positions.   I don’t even have back problems. 

And a bed that makes my back hurt just by looking at it on television, is not one I am under any inclination to buy. 

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How do you feel when the only misspelled word that spellchecker finds is your name?

I mean, give me a break.  At least word and word perfect give me the opportunity to add my own name to the spell checker. 

I promise, I speell it wright. 

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I was making a sandwich today at my house (I’m in augusta) out of some chicken that my mom cooked last night.  Bella was boring holes in my back (or the back of my legs maybe) while I was doing this.  So, being in a benevolent mood, I gave her a little taste of chicken.  This will probably be the last time this happens. 

Once Bella had that one taste of chicken she was hooked, and wouldn’t leave me alone.  I had another little piece left over that fell out my sandwich when I put it in the toaster, so I gave her that little piece too.  I thought this was sweet of me, but in reality Bella saw this as me catering to her needs, and decided that this should be my new role in her life.   In other words, she had me wrapped around her finger. 

Bella was  standing in the middle of the kitchen, with a huge string of drool hanging down from her right jowl.  I had just washed my hands and I did not feel like wiping the drool off her face, but the kitchen had just been mopped, and this was concerning to me. 

Me: " Bella, that is gross, you shouldn’t be sitting there drooling all over the clean floor, I’m never going to give you another piece of chicken if you don’t stop drooling. "

To which Bella responded by looking right, and sucking up the huge string of drool back into her mouth. I thought I was hallucinating.  But I promise you that it happened.  Then  she started to whine and bark at me. 

This leads me to a few conclusions –
1.  She understands a lot more than she lets on. 
2.  She doesn’t do 90% of the things I tell her to that she understands. 
3.  She really loves chicken. 

While I was eating the sandwich she kept licking my feet – which drives me crazy.  I was sitting in her chair, so I think this might have been her passive aggressive way of trying to get me to move.  When I put my feet up on another chair, she began to bark at me. 

I’m telling you, she and I are on thin ice.  I’m thinking about breaking up with her.  She tries her best to take advantage of me, and I’m not sure I need dogs like that in my life. 

Mama said she doesn’t do this to her, but that it is because Mama doesn’t give Bella little tastes while she is preparing food.  Idiot dog, she should learn that if she can at least be happy with a little bit, that she will receive that little bit a lot more often – but when she gets grabby, she loses opportunities.   Sigh.  I’m sure I never act like that.  (ha).

(p.s. I am so happy about all the recent comments, they make me real happy, and it makes me happy that y’all are reading.  I promise I will try real hard to be better about posting.  miss y’all). 

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