Archive for the ‘Work’ Category


Briscoe was initially confused this morning during our walk, she’s never seen the Fort Sumter building closed.

So, the government shut down and I’m one of the 800k non-essential personnel who were sent home yesterday around lunchtime.  Since then, I’ve been completely incapable of making a decision.  First, I decided I was going to wander around downtown Charleston and play tourist.  Then, when I got home, I realized that I had all this nervous energy about being unemployed and the government not working correctly, and I couldn’t calm down about it, so I cleaned out my pantry and my refrigerator.  Then I peer pressured some friends to meet me for happy hour and hamburgers last night.  I’m not entirely sure why I got so strung out – the federal employees who are working aren’t getting paid until this fiasco comes to an end, and those of us who aren’t working could also get paid.  So a ton of people are in the same boat, and I truly believe that the government can’t stay shut down, and that it will all work out. I think I just didn’t anticipate being upset about it, and it made me realize how much I really love my job, and all I want is to do my job and get paid for doing my job, and it’s confusing to get sent home.  That being said, no one should feel sorry for me, I’m not going to starve, I don’t need to apply for bankruptcy, my dog is not concerned.

But once we got home, she decided she didn't care that much and got back in bed.

But once we got home, she decided she didn’t care that much and got back in bed.

I had a lot of big plans today, I was going to clean out my closet, and go out for a wander and maybe make friends with some tourists, and take some stuff back to Target and get supplies.  None of that has happened.  I’ve watched a great deal of CNN.  I never watch the news.  I like to read news.  The people talking on television and arguing grate on me and I generally can’t tolerate it.  But this is a special situation, and I’ve been watching a lot of news.  I flip around, because I do like to hear different sides, and I think most media outlets are spinning me a opinion, but I’ve watched more CNN than anything else.  And I’ve learned a lot through this experience.

I’ve learned that the biggest concerns for the people who watch CNN during the day, according to advertising, are 1.  “blood flow” problems of the sexual nature; 2.  picking a nursing home for an aging parent, 3.  life alert systems for old people who aren’t interested in a nursing home; 4, low “T”, and 5.  the best biological drug for rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia.  And Wolf Blitzer is pretty feisty.  And I like the blond girl who reports from congress.  Clinton and Newt Gingrich are both aging better than Obama and W.  There is something about Ted Cruz’s face that really freaks me out.  I can’t put my finger on it.  Does he look like he’s made of wax?  Is that what it is?  Like you could make a statute of him out of fondant.  I know that doesn’t make much sense, and maybe it’s his mannerisms.  It’s like he moves as though he’s watching himself in the mirror.  Or like he can see himself on a live video feed.  I do have to hand it to the guy, he’s been super effective in accomplishing his goals, in a situation where no one else seems capable of accomplishing anything.  My approval and opinion of John McCain has never been higher than it is right now.  I want to give John McCain a big hug and buy him a drink.  Does he drink?  Did you see the article about how everyone on capital hill smells like booze?

Who do you think the girl is on the Obamacare homepage?  She’s been on the news more than anyone.  I hope she’s happy with the photo.  I thought Obama’s comment about comparing the webpage to the apple website was pretty interesting.   I got on verizon today to see about ordering the new iphone, I have an upgrade.  It’s backordered until November 11th.  I find that sort of unacceptable.  By the time I buy a new iphone, they are going to be talking about the new one.

Due to indecision, Briscoe and I spent a lot of time today sitting on the front porch.  It was a beautiful fall Charleston afternoon.  The strongest impulses possessing me today are the desires to eat and buy thing.s, Denise said that the government’s irresponsibility is triggering desires to be irresponsible.  At high tide, Briscoe and I went and watched the dolphins.  I anticipate my evening plans to including some pasta and wine, and tomorrow is a new day for congress to get it together.  Stay classy, my friends.

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Today is a day every year that I feel thankful, no matter what happens today, that I’m not taking the bar exam. So happy I don’t even mind paying my bar dues. Heartfelt thoughts go out to all of the test takers out there. It will be over soon, and I’ll be pleased to welcome you all to this historic, frustrating, challenging, sometimes questionable, but never boring profession. You can look forward to a life time of bailing your friends and family out of jail.

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I’m sitting on a patch of grass, on the edge of the parking lot of my office building. My building is one of many neighboring office buildings, and my friends work nearby. Paul works directly across the street, Dan works around the bend in the road, and Friend organizes food trucks to come visit.

It might not be a glamorous area of town, and my building might be the plainest vanilla box you’ll ever see, but it takes me 15 at most to get here every morning, and there is plenty of free parking.

I took off my long sleeve shirt and am sitting in the sun in a tank top. Of note, this would have probably (or definitely) gotten me fired from last job. It is 70 degrees, bright blue sky, and I’m eating roasted red pepper hummus and carrots. A few of my coworkers are walking laps around the complex for exercise. The interstate is buzzing along behind me, and although that could be an annoyance, I’ve gotten rather fond of the noise.

At my last job, I was only allowed 30 minutes for lunch, on a good day. It is hard to drive to Wendy’s and back in 30 minutes. The job before that, my bosses liked to discuss cases at lunch, and lunchtime was not my own time, and the places we ate would have put me to sleep for the rest of the day if I’d actually eaten it. Work lunches were simply part of the job, and I think that is reasonable in certain professions like small law firms. I did lose ten pounds in the 18 months I worked there, as a side note.

Having control over my own lunch is an amazing privilege that I try to never take for granted. I go to lunch whenever I want between 11-2, and I live in a place where the weather often lends itself to sitting in the sunshine. My coworkers like to pick on me because I eat a turkey melt on an English muffin every day. But it is a privilege, and I am going to enjoy it, because it makes me happy.

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We are helpless creatures

Our office is small, and more than one person with a sick child at a time can be cause for panic, for the obvious reason that we are extremely dependant on each other. 

This morning, a planned vacation, and dentist appointment, a broken alarm clock, and a sick child led to the unfavorable situation where the only people at the office for about an hour were Bill, David and me.  For the record, Jim is more self sufficient than the rest of us, i.e, he knows how to type and how to use the phones. 

So while I was typing up a letter that Bill drafted, and trying to remember to answer the phone if it rang, David walked by my office. 

“Hey David!”

“What’s up?”

“If the phone rings, and it’s for Jim, and he’s not here, can you tell me how to send it to his voicemail?”

“Um.  That’s a good question.  I know you hit transfer or hold, or something, and then hit their line.”

“Yeah, I tried that a second ago, and I hung up on the guy.”

“I guess we should have asked Sarah before she went to the dentist.”

“Oh well, hopefully we won’t be here by ourselves for much longer.”

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Ahh, Summertime.

The orkin man called me today to tell me that they have a special on mosquito treatments right now.  A steal for only $70 a month. 

When I got to work this morning it was so hot in my office that I almost had to go downstairs to the conference room to drink my coffee. 

Right now the temperature is 93, but it feels like 98. 

I have the unceasing desire to sit outside and drink beer. 

Sitting inside and drinking diet coke is a poor substitute.

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We had a trial yesterday.  Trials don’t happen very often in my line of the law, and so when they do it is a big deal.  We worked all last week and all Sunday afternoon to be prepared.  I was at the courthouse at 8:15 to get someone to show me the multimedia.  Trial was suppose to start at 10 but didn’t start till around 11 because the judge was trying to clear his criminal calendar, which meant all the ADAs and PDs and lots of attorneys were at the courthouse, which is always fun and made me miss being in court. 

We picked a jury, went to lunch, argued a motion and won, and started the case.  All the sudden it was 4 pm.  The Plaintiff’s attorney was still on his first witness.  Then inadmissible evidence was introduced, the jury was quickly ushered out and the judge declared a mis-trial.  AGGGHH.  I find this intensely frustrating.  Regardless, I was back at my office around 5, and left from there to go to a happy hour for our paralegal’s birthday.  I had a glass of wine and a beer over the course of about two hours.  I got home around 8 and decided to go for a jog.  It was really pretty and I felt like it was starting to cool off (it was only 89 degrees with 100% humidity). 

I ran about three miles, with some good hills, and ended my run right at the house, put briscoe on a leash and walked her for about a mile.  At happy hour I munched on a couple of snacks, and when I finally finished working out in the heat I was anything but hungry.  It was getting late, I took a shower and watched tv and ate a bowl of cereal for dinner.  I didn’t sleep well. 

This morning I ate a Z bar and drank coffee.  When I got to the office I realized I’d left my water bottle at home (nerds!) which was fatal mistake number 2 (number 1 was going for a 4 mile workout after drinking wine and eating potato skins). 

Fatal mistake number 3 occurred at lunch.  We went to picadilly cafeteria.  I don’t like this place, but my partners do, and I’ve gotten to the point where I always get the baked chicken and mac and cheese and green beans and I’m safe.  Well today, I didn’t feel like chicken.  I was HUNGRY!  And I got the chicken pot pie. 

I should have known this was a poor choice because it was sort of creamy and rich looking and I haven’t been tolerating rich food well as of late.  But I wasn’t thinking. 

So after lunch, things went from bad to worse.  I started to cramp and sweat and shake.  Even my toes were cramping.  I had to come home around 2 and lay on the cool bathroom tile.  I never actually got sick, even though I would have given anything to have just thrown up and felt better. 

I’ve been trying to choke down gatorade and ginger ale all afternoon.  I’ve been eating saltines.  I keep thinking I feel better so I get up to do something and I just feel weak as water.  I must feel better tomorrow.  I must. 

We’ve had a very mild summer so far and it was much hotter yesterday than it has been.   I’m not in excellent shape.  I haven’t been working out enough to go out and run in the heat like that, especially not after drinking wine.  I know better.

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1.  Call Bloomingdales from work to order lingere for bachelorette party.  Try to be quiet as you ask for Hanky Panky Low Rise Thong.  When the girl ask you if you want the ones with lace all over or not, try to ignore that your boss just walked in the room and is looking at you like you are crazy. 

2.  Call Clerk’s office in Florida.  As soon as clerk picks up the phone, scream bloody murder because the wasp that has been buzzing around your office all day that you thought your boss killed with a broom earlier has crawled up onto your desk and across your mouse and onto your hand. 

3.  Stop to talk to your neighbor after running a few miles in the heat.  Stand there, with blank look on your face and try not to be concerned that you have no idea what you just said but you are pretty sure the neighbor thinks it is strange that you are still in their driveway.  Wander off. 

4.  After you have attended a tennis clinic for three weeks, and spent the entire third week clinic hitting with the instructor, call him by the wrong name in a loud voice in front of the whole class.  Thanks Nick!  (CHARLSIE!  HIS NAME IS RICK!  NOT NICK!  AGGHH IDIOT). 

5.  When the mother of the groom comes to retrieve him from the bar at 2 am on Friday night after the rehearsal dinner, hop on in the car with him and try to be supportive of his demands to go to Krystal.  When you find rubble where the neighborhood Krystal USED to be (torn down for renovations – literally, levelled), find the next closest Krystal with Google maps and place the order while hanging out of the back window of his mother’s car.  Try to keep the car clean by taking the remaining chiks and cheese krystals that remain in the bag into your house when they drop you off first.   

6.  Send the runner on errands such as 1.   Pick up Briscoe’s flea medicine from vet 2.  Get jewelry cleaned  3.  Pick up Blizzard (small, peanut butter cup).

7.  Neglect your dry cleaning long enough to where you have to pick it up on the way to work in order to have anything suitable to wear that day. 

8.  Wage war on the dandilions in your yard.  Dig the roots up with a shovel if necessary  (my dad saw me trying to get the whole root of this dandilion the other day and told me to stop being weird.  I told him to leave me alone and let me be weird in my own backyard – he told me not to act like that in my front yard).

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Bill spent all last week telling me that eating starburst jelly beans was going to kill me. 

I almost choked on one just a second ago.  I think if it hasn’t already been partially dissolved I might have been in real trouble. 

Do you think that is what he meant?

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Sunshine Daydreams

This weather is killing me.  Slowly.  My soul dies a little for every hour I have to be inside.  I can see the trees and the puffy clouds through my pollen coated window.  I think about my new little backyard and the new little plants I bought at lowes the other day.  They have been calling my cell phone all day long and sending me text messages about how it is killing them to not be permanently planted.  They want me to come home RIGHT.NOW and finish what I started. 

 I’d really like to have an old bathtub to use as a planter.  That way I don’t have to worry about Briscoe trying to eat the jalapeno plant I bought.  Donald is suppose to be keeping his eyes open for one.  Maybe it will be there when I get home!  Donald made me a list of things I need for the house on the back of a KoolMenthal carton box.  I’ve been carrying it around in my pocketbook and it almost fell out in court today, which made me laugh. 

I can’t remember a time when I’ve ever had spring fever this bad.  This might be due to the fact that I’ve never had a real job in April before.  The real world is for the birds.  That being said, I do love my job and it is nice to feel (somewhat) financially secure. 

That being said, every day I’m amazed at how weird my job can be.  I spent an hour this morning respectfully but forcefully disagreeing with someone.  I told them all the reasons why they are wrong.  Then I shut up and didn’t interrupt while they told me all the reasons why I was wrong.  Then I told them my reasons again, then they told me their reasons.  Then we pointed at some documents and underlined some numbers and asked a few pointed questions and then I told them all the reasons they were wrong and then let them point out all the reasons I was wrong one more time.  Then you say – okay, well how are we going to fix this, what are you offering, blah blah blah, and you come to an agreement that no one is happy with and you discuss emails and addresses and checks are written and people grumble.  But as you are walking out of the door, you ask about the other person’s family, and their life and how business is going and you slap each other on the back or shake hands and act like you haven’t just been fighting for the past hour.   

It’s weird.  I’m so glad tomorrow is Friday.

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I know I’ve told y’all before how much I love coffee, but I just thought I’d remind you.  Lots of huge important things have happened this week, my car hit 180,000 miles, I won my first case, and I had to go back into my house the other day to get my shoes because I’d left home without them. 

How often do you get in the car and think, dang, I don’t have on any shoes!  I’ll have to go back into the house and get them?  Once a year?  Once a month?  Once a week?  Never?  Now that it has gotten warm outside I have revived my beloved habit of only wearing shoes when it is required by my job, the law, and/or to comply with social norms.  It’s awesome.  What isn’t awesome is that Donald and Ronald (my home repair people who are fixing all the things in my house that need fixing, and who I would be lost without) keep finding these HUGE metal roofing nails that the roofers left in my yard.  Those nails look like the quickest way to get lockjaw I can imagine. 

Briscoe has enjoyed having Donald and Ronald around (they are twins), and D & R have gotten pretty attached to Briscoe.  To the point where they have renamed her.  Her new name is Biscuit. And you know, she sort of looks like a little biscuit!  It’s the perfect new name for the fuzzy head. 

I almost stepped on a snake this morning right outside the front door of our office.  He was a really cute little green snake.  He told me his name was Lionel. 

Okay, I’m off to track down a judge and get my summary judgment motion signed!  Hooray!  And Molly is getting married this weekend!  And it’s suppose to be 90 degrees tomorrow!

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