the thin line between optimism and delusion…

Recent email exchange –

Hey! I’m sorry it has taken me so long to respond, I have been trying to pick up the pieces of my life after that exam. I think there is a good chance that I also got every single question wrong. At 3:45 I was only on question 35 of the multiple choice. So it took me an hour and a half to do 35 multiple choice questions. Which left me an hour and twenty minutes to do 60 multiple choice questions. How many pages was the exam? 70? Really, I don’t know what he was thinking. I was shaking, and sweating, and I couldn’t breathe – and this continued for hours. I ran 4 1/2 miles afterwards, that I can’t remember at all, and then I drank a little wine with Cybil last night, needless today I didn’t get out of bed until late this morning. No kidding I am going to fail con law on thursday in the same way that I failed evidence. I’ll never be prepared for Well’s exam. And then natural resources 16 hours after I walk out of con law. Exams are really bad for my self esteem. quite traumatizing.

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One of the most hilarious people I know has officially joined the blogging world.

Everyone – meet Megan Mattingly (for some reason that link doesn’t seem to be working, let’s try this – www.megan83.blogspot.com). Megan is from Augusta and enjoys picking up guys at cutters and playing on the facebook while maintaining one hell of a wardrobe, GPA, and sparkling white teeth.

She just started today, so there is only one post as of right now, but I have great feelings about this.

So, go see how awesome Megan is, and leave her lots of comments, and add her to your blogroll, and make sure she feels loved and encouraged and sticks with it. I promise y’all will like her, if you don’t you can delete me from your life – or erase me – or whatever they do at lacunae, inc.

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Church makes me feel better about life. I love Sundays @ the Morton. Julie Powell – whom I truly respect and love – tells a wonderful story of how she got involved with The Morton. I also attended St. James for a while, but ended up The Morton because friends of mine from home led music there before Julie took over. Carolyn Moore was an amazing friend to me and the Morton became home. She helped me to grow up in my faith.

Carolyn moved to Augusta to start her own church a couple of years ago and David Moore (no relation) took over. David is such an awesome person, he truly appreciates people for who they are and where they are coming from, and he is willing to meet you where you are, and doesn’t pass judgment on where you ought to be. This is probably the first time since high school – and probably early high school – that I feel really good about the niche I have found in my church. College was hard, and part of the problem was me. But a lot of is that college is hard. The important part is that I’m really happy now – I have some amazing friends of all ages that I have made through the Church, and I feel like I have been given the opportunity to be something of a leader – even though I cringe sometimes at the mistakes I make in that capacity.

All I can say is that God is good.

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I have decided to stop giving the security guard a hard time. His job is to check IDs at the door of the law library. From now on, I will have my ID with me and offer it without being asked, and I will not act exasperated. Just because I hate being IDed in general and find it a ridiculous hassle doesn’t change the fact that it is his job. Who am I to deprive this man of his day’s work? It isn’t his fault that it is pouring down rain outside. It isn’t his fault that I can’t keep up with my student ID. It isn’t his fault that I expect to be recognized after one encounter – just because I have some vanity issues I need to deal with doesn’t mean that he should suffer because of them. Especially if I am going to take my fleece on and off all day. And if he wants to smoke a cigarette and ID me at the door of the building, well, he has that right I guess.

I am the reason we need the security guard in the first place. I really like being able to leave my stuff in the library, and if this means that we have to show our IDs, I’m more than OKAY with it. I leave my stuff laying around the library all the time AND I invite random people to come check out the law library. A couple of months ago I was in the main library – for no real good reason – and these rather different looking guys (they all had neon colored hair and looked like some of the euro-teen backpackers I meet last summer in greece) – well these guys asked me the guest pass for the main library computers. I told them that I didn’t know what the password was, but if they went to the law library across the quad that those computers didn’t have passwords (this is probably the kind of thing that they should revoke my library privileges for).

These guys really looked like they were just passing through, and I wanted them to have an positive experience at UGA. Silly me. These guys became regular patrons of the law library. One day I went outside and Tunde was teaching one of them how to improve his juggling skills (which made me feel a little better about inviting these guys over). I wanted to run into the library and make a public announcement that Tunde was juggling outside, but I restrained myself and calmly watched while interjecting things like – “OH! You almost had it!” and “WOW! That was Awesome!” and “I’m Impressed!” (Law school can be a lot like camp sometimes).

In other news, pray that the law school doesn’t get struck by lightening, because I would really have to just quit if my computer got blown up by lightening this week. I am confident that I couldn’t deal with such a catastrophe.

Also, I really need some new music. Pete says I need to study and not play on iTunes looking for new music. So if you have any suggestions, let me know. I’m pretty open and I think I need to branch out.

I think I am going to go play russian roulette with the coke machines downstairs.

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The beginning of this post sounds a lot like me.

Except I’m not actually playing dead. I’m just happily content to be below average. Outlining isn’t really my thing. Note taking isn’t really my thing either. And you can ask Professor Coenen – the UCC really isn’t my thing.

Obviously studying isn’t really my thing as well. Happy and cheerful and delusional is more up my ally.

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rparekh: hey babe
CKP10: hey love
rparekh: where you
CKP10: in the annex
rparekh: ugh
rparekh: are you coming to the SLC?
CKP10: no
CKP10: it is too far
rparekh: 😦
rparekh: but it’s so nice here
CKP10: I like the library
rparekh: and friendly
rparekh: and full of eye candy
rparekh: and nice
CKP10: I know
rparekh: and i’m here
rparekh: 🙂
CKP10: I end up finding too many 20 year olds that I think are cute and making eyes at them all day
rparekh: lol
CKP10: I end up with like five day long crushes
rparekh: haha–join the club
rparekh: btw… so yeah, up till 5 and then up again at 8:30…. and today is my 25th bday
rparekh: and i get to stare at a whiteboard and the top of sean ditzel’s head
CKP10: HAPPY BIRTHDAY RAKESH!
CKP10: I knew that
CKP10: I’m sorry
CKP10: I forgot what the date was
rparekh: grrr
rparekh: whatever!
CKP10: stupid facebook should have told me
rparekh: it’s on friendster and facebook
rparekh: lol

See? I am so concerned the stupid undergrads that I didn’t even remember that today was Rakesh’s birthday!!! EVERYONE!! WISH RAKESH A HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! HE IS AT THE SLC!

Actually, it probably has more to do with the fact that I am too wrapped up in being completely ridiculous and self absorbed during finals. I am sure that I didn’t know that today was the 29th of April. I’m not even sure I knew today was friday. What I do know, is that I got out of bed too late, I haven’t been productive in the time I have been out of bed, and that if I don’t start consuming a more well balanced diet I am going to end up with scurvy. Oh, and never in my life has been room been such a total disaster. Those of you that have seen my room on a regular day MIGHT be able to imagine. But probably not.

Other than that I am feeling good about life. I have the essentials; chap stick (the blue kind), my sigg bottle, my laptop, my ipod, and some socks to put on when the annex gets to cold. Now if I could only locate my attention span……

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Okay, I have no patience with people who don’t update their blogs during finals. I mean, this is the most important time for blogs, when people need them the most. You can’t abandon us all right now.

In other news – Who else is going to fail Natural Resources with me? Lauren? Maggie?

Tragedy of the Commons – What is wrong with the freedom of breeding? People who see the problem will stop, and the bad people will continue to breed and the bad people will overtake the good. How do we escape this tragedy? Infanticide? Mutual Coercion? (I swear this is right out of Jason’s notes).

Is it a major federal action or proposal for legislation that will significantly affect the human environment?

Is this a federal action or is this just discretionary?

Do you have a Biological Opinion on that?

What are the pros and cons of the Wilderness Act?

What about Con Law? Substantive Due Process vs. Equal Protection? Wanna Fight about it?

But before we fail these other classes, we first have to fail evidence. With precious Professor Carlson. Staci told me that Professor Dupre said that our evidence final was going to be impossible. I think this sounds like something Professors say to scare law students. Professor Dupre should concentrate on scaring the 1Ls – the rest of us are too jaded to care.

Oh! I saw Lonnie Brown today. And I was on top of things enough to call him, “Professor Brown” instead of Lonnie. Calling professors by their first names to their face is not very respectful – even if you do it behind their backs. They all have such great first names, it is hard. Professor Coenen is such a Dan. And Professor Love’s name is Sara Jane. Professor Dupre looks like an Anne. The Best of the Best is Lonnie Brown. What a cool name. Don’t you just want to call Professor Carlson – Ron? (at least Carlson calls us by our first names).

But I guess if they are going to call us by our last names, we should use their last names. It is interesting to be called, Miss Paine. I kind of like it. Christian calls me Miss Paine.

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I know that I like to tell y’all about how much I secretly enjoy being in the library, but I just decided something about the annex. Yesterday I studied in the student learning center, which is a cool place. But the rooms start to get to me after a while. Whereas, in the annex, I never feel closed in.

And when it gets dark outside, the enormous windows turn into mirrors and reflect the scene in which I am sitting superimposed with the big orange globe streetlights that attempt to illuminate North Campus. Being a paranoid individual, I am able to make sure no one is sneaking up on me. Just because I am paranoid doesn’t mean someone isn’t following me.

There is a table in the main reading room that has a bunch of random toys on it – with a sign that says – STRESS RELIEF. And there was a jigsaw puzzle. Jigsaw puzzles make me want to break things – I don’t think there is anything relaxing about jigsaw puzzles.

There was a little stuffed moose wearing a green t-shirt. I decided that he wasn’t doing anyone any good all there by himself, and so I brought him back to the annex with me so I would have someone to talk to. Scott and Billy tried to name him Goose the Moose. It was at that point that I realized that law school could be stunting to my ability to function in normal society. I don’t want to end up like these people.

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Jessica and I are in room 481 of the Student Learning Center. We aren’t sure if we are ever going to leave. This joint doesn’t close until Wednesday, May 11th at 6 pm. And although I guess I have to leave to take my exam, that doesn’t happen until Monday at 1:30. And Jessica doesn’t have to leave until tuesday at 9. We’re going to play it by ear, but we might need someone to bring us some food, we might get tired of jittery joes and chik-fil-a. Oh yeah, and we might need some soap to bathe in the bathroom with. But the greasy look is sort of in.

We look homeless people anyway – jessica’s pants are three inches too short, and I need a shopping cart to carry all my stuff around. And we both already need showers. And we have already eaten all of our blow pops.

Email us at:
lawschoolschoolsucks@gmail.com.
or
lawschoolsux@gmail.com
or
iamgoingtofail@gmail.com

We are making a mess. Oh well, Dot will clean it up.

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This is killing me – Michael really scares me. White socks are really the absolute worst in my opinion.

I really miss John Paul II. I don’t know about this new guy. John Paul II shook my hand! Rome needs me.

Jessica had a dream that she and Jamie had to go on a double date with Karl Lagerfeld, and Karl’s date didn’t show up, and Jamie kept trying to talk to the head of Chanel about UGA football.

I am crying, this is hilarious. In case you needed help picking out your shoes, the Manolo is here for you.

Gosh, I have to get my act together. The quality of posts has officially started to decline while the quantity is increasing. I can promise that this will be a trend for the next two weeks.

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