Archive for the ‘ridiculousness’ Category

College Revisited

So, remember how I had a very college weekend?  Day drinking and close calls?

Well, I got my act together when the week started.  I ran three miles on Monday,  and actually got some stuff done at work on Monday and Tuesday.  Wednesday morning I woke up with a swollen gland in my throat, which worried me.  My mom has had a terrible cold in the last month and I KNEW I was going to get it.  Since I have a plane flight to steamboat Friday morning I was concerned.  I came home from work yesterday (Wednesday) afternoon and got in bed.  I had a low grade fever but nothing too serious.  I was going to go to the doctor, but apparently there has been a bad flu outbreak here this week and I didn’t want to get exposed to anything else. 

I didn’t have a fever when I went to sleep last night, after watching the eclipse by myself since I didn’t want to make anyone else sick if I was in fact sick.  Which I was pretty sure I wasn’t.  Because, after all, I’m a hypochondriac.  I probably took my temperature fifty times yesterday just to make sure I didn’t have a fever.  If you have a fever you have proof you really are sick and aren’t making it up.  But regardless of how many times I checked it, I did not have a real fever. 

I woke up in the middle of the night with a terrible sore throat.  Damn that swollen gland I thought.  I took some Advil and tried to go back to sleep. 

At 6:30 am, I realized this wasn’t working for me.  I was in so much pain, I wanted to go to the hospital immediately.  Both of my parents were out of town for the night and I was at their house looking after the dogs.  Travers and Elizabeth left for a long weekend in Mexico this morning.  I didn’t think I could wait till the doctors office opened at 9.  I couldn’t swallow the saliva in my mouth my throat was so swollen.  I was in tears.  Which just made it worse. 

After some pathetic phone calls to my mom – she got in touch with one of her friend’s son – a guy I grew up with who is an ENT about five years older than me.  Only problem he was in the Evans office for the day 30 minutes away.  I got in the car and was one of the first people at the office.  I had never been to this office before, and the nice girl who checked me in – after I filled out the paper work – she said – now just look at this little camera and I’m going to take your picture for your file.  that was enough to send me over the edge. 

As I was sitting in the waiting room, every minute was an eternity.  Finally I had to tell myself to get it together and stop crying in front of a room full of strangers.  But I really didn’t have to wait that long considering. 

As I followed the nurse back to the room I passed my doctor friend.  He said – You don’t feel good, I can see it by just looking at you.  I almost started crying again. 

The first nurse asked me if it hurt on my tonsils or on the back of my throat, I told her it just hurt.  She wanted to know what side.  I said it hurt.  She took my temperature.  101.2.  Well, you definitely have a fever she said. 

Then Doctor Friend came in.  He looked at my glands, and told me that I either had tonsillitis in both tonsils or a really bad case of strep.  Then he looked in my throat.  Nope, not tonsillitis.  Must be strep. 

I hope you don’t have to go back to work today he said.  I said, no, I don’t, but I have a flight out to Steamboat to go skiing in the morning.  He laughed.  You can go, but I promise you won’t have fun. 

I’m going to give you some steroids, I know this is no fun, but we can give you a shot today, or you can start on the pills, you take six the first day…..

SHOT!  Please give me the shot!  I can’t swallow my own spit.  I want the shot.  I want the shot right now.  I don’t mind needles. 

Oh, okay.  Shot it is then. 

Then he swabbed my tonsil to do the strep test.  The nurse explained to me that it works very similar to a pregnancy test.  Just a few minutes, and we will look at the lines and see if it is positive or negative. 

The nurse gave me the shot, and they left me for a few minutes to wait on the strep test.  I had to go look at the little test while they were gone.  Hmmm.  One line.  This means negative right?  Like on a pregnancy test?  You have the control line to tell you the test is working and then if it is positive you have the other line.  (Isn’t that what I learned from the movie Juno?)  Well, if I don’t have strep….

When they came back, Doctor Friend looked at the test and said – well, if I’m reading this right, then you don’t have strep.  Which means, you do have Mono.

Wait, what?  Mono?  I have mono?  How old am I? 18?  I haven’t been tired.  I’m not rundown.  I can’t even think of anyone I might have kissed four to six weeks ago that could have given it to me. 


I haven’t even HEARD of anyone getting mono in like five years. 

So, Doctor Friend wrote me some prescriptions for a bunch of stuff and sent me to the lab across the street to get some blood drawn. 

Then I stopped by target to get my prescriptions filled.  I was sort of hoping that I could find something at target to blow some money on to make me feel better about not getting to go skiing and not feeling well.  But I didn’t find anything and I left target having spent less than ten dollars, which I’m fairly sure is against the law. 

So you know how you are suppose to not be hungry when you have mono? Well, I was starving.  But swallowing things was still a problem.  I stopped at the chik fil a in front of target and got a milk shake.  Which felt good.  But all the milk shake did was make me wish I had french fries and a chicken sandwich. 

Luckily I still have one more chik fil a between where I was and my house.  So I stopped there and got the fries and sandwich I wanted.  I couldn’t really eat it, but I tried. 

Right.  So I’m sick.  Indefinitely. 

Rawr.  Today has been a very long day.   And I think Briscoe has been playing in the rain all afternoon.  Great.   I bet she is real clean. 

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It snowed here last night.  Weird huh?  Briscoe was pretty pumped about it.  We had some people over, and I made tortilla soup, and chocolate chip cookies, and we watched american idol and drank a few beers and it was a whole lot of fun.  We stood around in the kitchen and watched the snow fall on the deck and talked excitedly about whether or not we would have to go to work today.  We ducked outside to let the snow fall in our hair and laughed at the dogs slipping and sliding on the deck.  But, of course, the snow turned to rain before american idol was over, and we all knew it was just wishful thinking to believe we wouldn’t have to go to work.  But it was fun to think about. 

It is now 37 degrees, feels like 30, and cloudy, with showers predicted for the rest of the day.  High 42.  Pretty much miserable. 

But I have a bunch of soup left over, that should taste even better today, and no where that I have to be tonight, so I’m not going to complain.  I also have a warm little furry friend with which to snuggle. 

I think mini marshmellows make an excellent snack.  I like them when they are a little stale.  Low calorie, very sweet, fun to eat, great for people with oral fixations. 

I’m getting a lot better at drying my hair.  I have an awesome new hair dryer, which helps.  But I also think I’m not quite as paranoid.  And I’ve figured out what sort of stuff to put in it and how long I can go between washes with it still looking good.  I’m sorry if you think you should wash your hair everyday, I don’t agree with that, my hair likes not being washed every day. 

Guitar Hero is really, really fun.  And I am really, really, really bad at it.

I had an old man tell me over the phone the other day that he didn’t think any less of me because I was a woman.  Thanks. 

The Oregon Trail game on Facebook is pretty silly. 

American Gladiators is entertaining.  Deal or No Deal makes me nervous.  I had no idea that not a single person has won a million dollars yet.  American Idol is pretty fun, but makes me feel guilty for laughing at the pathetic people.  It is mean.  I don’t love reality tv and I’m sad that all the other tv is gone because of the writer’s strike.   

I drink too much caffeine. 

I had a crazy dream last night that I was in New Orleans again, with some of the same people and some different people.  It was very jumbled, but colorful and entertaining.  Briscoe was with me, and I also had recently adopted a bulldog puppy.  Gah, I can’t imagine what I would do with two dogs. 

My Uggs melted next to the fire the other night.  Very, Very sad.  Sniff.  I mean, I can still wear them, they are just a little warped.  Kate says they are ruined.  I told her to be quiet. 

Y’all be good, I’m going to try to work harder at updating more often. 


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(I’m laying on the couch, reading, Britt walks in)

Britt:  WHOA!  That is a huge book!

Me:  Yep, I like big books.  This is a children’s novel.

Britt:  What is it?

Me:  His Dark Materials, you know, the Golden Compass. 

Britt:  Wait, I think I read something in a church bulletin that said you shouldn’t read that book or let your kids go see the movie.  Something about it being satanic.  Is it satanic?

Me:  That’s what I’m trying to figure out.  As far as I can tell, it is a children’s novel set in a fictional world, where an entity similarly structured as the church is evil.  Personally, I would compare it to 1984, where the government is evil.  I mean, it was written by an atheist.  But there seem to be some good moral themes.  It obviously is going to come down to good vs. evil.  We’ll see. 


Dan over at the Pasty Quail has been covering the Golden Compass debate, and I think it is really interesting.  I really like what he has to say here.  I strongly disagree with any organization that wants to tell me what I can and can’t read, or what I should and shouldn’t watch.  Why don’t churches worry about movies full of violence and hate and the kind of evilness that really and truly does exist in this world, instead of waging war against a STORY about an IMAGINARY place?

I haven’t read the whole thing.  So maybe I’ll feel differently about it when I get finished.  But I somehow doubt that a lot of people who are against this book and movie have read it.  I personally have more faith in my own faith than to be threatened by a novel.  Especially not a novel who heroes and heroines refuse to break their sworn promises, and who fight for the innocent, and whose actions are compassionate and heartfelt.  Because that is what I have gotten out of the book so far. 

But, you know, maybe it becomes satanic later on.  I would like to be a part of a church that encouraged children to read the book, or see the movie, and then initiate a discussion about how the "church" or the "god" in the book is different from the Church and the God that we believe in.  My mom said that some people don’t like the idea that people can be moralistic even if they aren’t religious.  But that is just a fact of life, right? 

I’m not sure why this whole thing bothers me so much, but I really don’t like the whole controversy.  I think part of it stems from the fact that it irritates me when people talk about Harry Potter being evil, and even some people think Lord of the Rings is negative, which is really amazing to me. 

There are over 500 facebook groups about the Golden Compass as of today.  Most of them are titled – DO NOT GO SEE THE GOLDEN COMPASS, or BOYCOTT THE GOLDEN COMPASS or THE GOLDEN COMPASS AND IT’S ATTACK ON CHRISTIANITY (wtf?) 

I particularly like – BOYCOTT THE GOLDEN COMPASS AND IT’S ATHEIST MESSAGE.  Really, I would say there appears to be more hate in these groups than in the book that I’ve been reading. 


Really, I could spend hours going through these facebook groups.  But I don’t have time.  I need to go finish my novel.  I’m intrigued, and entertained, and challenged by it. 


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Daily Hazards

Have you ever pulled out your pack of gum and realized you were all out?  And been really upset because you really needed/wanted/had to have a piece?  And you are driving down the road, and you start digging through your pocketbook, for your phone or something – and you find a piece of gum that fell out of the pack and got separated from his friends but is otherwise, still intact in his little paper wrapping?

You are so excited!  Yes!  This is what you were looking for!  Hooray!

Because you are driving you can’t take too close a look at the gum,  and so you pop it in your mouth and start chewing. 

But, something is sort of wrong.  Your gum has a little more, texture, than usual.  Little bit of grit.  Your gum is a little too crunchy.  Like, maybe it had some dirt on it.  Or, sand.  So you spit it out. 

Has this ever happened to you?


Me neither. 

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I’ve told y’all before they are working on my building. 

Apparently the workers have disturbed a hornets nest. 

There is a mob of angry hornets swarming around my window, making noise, chasing each other, and slamming into the wimdow. 

It is sort of freaking me out. 

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Y’all know how I like the moon?  So, this weekend, I’m at a party, in Birmingham.  I’ve never been to Birmingham before, and I basically know nothing about the town.  The party is being thrown by my old roomie, and I know about three people other than the people I brought with me (Britt and Ross).  Well, so Britt and Ross and I are helping ourselves to the barbeque, along with some other guests we don’t know. 

(what I hear)
Random Girl #1:  Is it a full moon?
(What I almost say, but don’t, because, well, I don’t know these people):  No, actually the full moon won’t be until next week, it is actually a waxing gibbous. 
Random Girl #2:  Yes!  Full Moon downtown?  I think it is the best barbeque in town!  I haven’t had it in forever.  (and the conversation is launched into a long debate on which barbeque is the best in birmingham.)

At which point I realize that these girls are definitely not talking about the actual moon.  And the girl did not ask if it was a full moon, she asked if the barbeque was from Full Moon Barbeque.  These people were in no way concerned with what kind of phase the moon was in, and what’s more, if I had tried to tell them the phase of the moon, I’m fairly sure I would have freaked them out. 

Good thing I’ve perfected my social skills to the point where I know to keep my mouth shut. 

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Hershey Kisses

If you eat a whole bag of Hershey Kisses, does it constitute a make-out?

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Work it, Work it

I LOVE the skirt I have on today.  And the boots.  Love, Love, Love.  Can’t even tell you how much having on clothes I feel great about affects my mood. 

I want to wear this skirt every day.  I wore it to a party last weekend.  I might wear it to every other party I go to from here on out. 

It is festive – red felt and it swishes when I walk.  I look GOOOD.  And I can’t even start with my boots.  They are heaven. 

Of course I ran my hose (that I opened this morning) before I even made it to work.  Oh well. 

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Hot Trash

It really grosses me out when I push open a trashcan to throw something away and heat radiates from the inside.  Now, I’m well aware that the source of the heat is simply someone’s hot coffee which has been recently discarded. 

Regardless – it grosses me out.  A LOT.  Like where I want to go sanitize my hand immediately.   I make a mental note to not throw away hot coffee in public trash. 


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I woke up in the middle of the night last night.  There were footsteps in the leaves outside my window.  They sounded like human footsteps.  I thought maybe it was just super early – like 5:30 and it was my professor neighbor going somewhere.  I laid real still.  I finally rolled over and obtained my cell phone so I could see what time it was and keep my finger on 911.  It was 4:35.  Dang it.  No one has any business wandering around at 4:35 on a Friday morning.  I was freaking out.  I kept imagining that someone was on my front porch.  Shortly there after the sprinklers turned on and although they initially scared me to death – I started thinking that maybe it was cat or something in the leaves and that maybe the sprinklers had also contributed to the sound of footsteps.  Who knows.  But maybe it wasn’t a person.  Just maybe I wasn’t going to get attacked in my own home.  Eventually I fell back asleep.  And as expected I had crazy dreams. 

In one dream I dreamed that we got a list of the bar exam results early here at the courthouse, and that Heather and I both passed.  In this dream, the courthouse had a law school attached to it, and the building had magical powers like Hogwarts.  And on this day that we were looking at the bar results, people kept randomly ending up in our offices from all the secret passage ways.  Did I ever tell you I have an overactive imagination?

My other dream was pretty humorous, and it involved one of my good friends from high school that I haven’t seen in a while, and a natural history museum that was also a library, and a boy trying to kiss me out of the blue in the museum.  Hilarious.  It also involved crowds of people and getting lost.  But it is more jumbled than the other dream. 

Enough about my dreams, let’s move on to real life.  Yesterday Elizabeth and were running on the trail, we ran 7 miles, and it was getting sort of dark at the end of our run.  So we were running really fast.  And we were singing to our respective ipods.  Out loud.  We were trying to ignore the fact that it was getting dark and we were really into our runs.  Well, these two guys on bikes come up behind us and basically ride along and listen to us sing for a while.  Gah.  I’m sure they thought we were really hot.  But they did make sure that we made it to our car safely which was sweet. 

I got to hang out with my precious friend Molly last night and make a new friend Lindsey.  It was really fun.  I ate enough mexican food to choke a small horse.  It was awesome.  I wish I had some right now.  There is nothing better than catching up with an old friend over cheese dip and huge draft beers. 

Did I mention that I find out whether or not I passed the bar exam today?  Cross your fingers.  I’ve never had so much invested in a test in my life and I’m not sure I’ve ever straight up failed something, so if I fail, I might need someone to scrap me up off the concrete.  But then again, it is only a test and I’ll get it next time if I don’t get it this time.  Geeze. 

Also, I’m going to the NYC tonight!  Get excited!  I can’t wait.  Libby, Jennifer, Maggie, Cristi and I are going to be the Deal or No Deal girls for halloween.  We are going to a party tomorrow night.  Libby mentioned this to her boss, and her boss mentioned it to someone that works at NBC (libby works for a media corporation), and yesterday NBC sent Libby over 5 Deal or No Deal Briefcases for us to use in our costumes!  HOW AWESOME IS THAT! Here is a picture –Deal_or_no_deal_001_1

If you are going to be in the City this weekend – hit me on the cell piece.  Kisses. 

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