the thin line between optimism and delusion…

Betsy was in town the other day, recruiting for Homebanc on campus, and she bought a football ticket from an undergrad girl she met at the recruiting meeting. 

The girl didn’t have the ticket with her, so I went with Betsy to get the ticket from the girl’s apartment.  It took us a while to find the apartment, but, after walking into the wrong apartment once and knocking another  wrong door, we finally found it. 

Betsy introduced me, and the conversation went something like this:

Betsy:  Girl, this is my friend Charlsie, she is in law school!
Girl:  Oh, that is great!  What year are you?
Me:  I’m a 3rd year.
Girl:  WOW!  And, well, gosh,  you look GREAT!  (this was said with pure enthusiasm and sincerity). 
Me:  Umm…thanks?   (while smiling and thinking, imagine what I would look like after a shower). 

I mean, WTF?  I look great?  What is that suppose to mean?  What am I suppose to look like?  And Betsy and I discussed it later, and she really was being sincere, and honestly, I did not look Great.  I looked like I have been at school all day, I had my hair in a knot on the top of my head, and I was shivering in my pink hoodie, and I didn’t have any makeup on.  I don’t think I would have gotten such a response if I said I was a 1L, which goes to show how confused she is, because, 1Ls are the ones that haven’t slept in weeks. 

It was almost like if I had told her I had a terminal illness, I would have gotten a similar response, Wow, well, I never would have known!  You look great!

Do you think she thought I should look older?  I’m sure that was what it was, I’m just so fresh and I look so healthy, who knew I spent all my time under a rock?  Do you think being a 3L is like having a terminal illness?

I think I am sick.   (p.s. – Mama and Daddy, if are reading this, I’m just kidding, poetic license, I’m actually doing lots of school work and I’m very much on top of my life). 

Symptoms:

1.  Inability to get out of bed in the morning. 

2.  Trouble concentrating. 

3.  Heightened stress levels, resulting in tense jaw.

4.  Lack of motivation, in everything, from working out, to reading novels, to brushing my hair, to doing actual real work for school.

5.  Lack of reality resulting in inefficiency and habitual inability to be punctual, anywhere. 

6.  Extreme need for homemade chocolate chip cookies and gourmet coffee. 

7.  Inability to make any sort of decision about the rest of my life, or, the rest of my day, resulting in me not having a job and also not eating lunch at a regular time. 

8.  Carpel Tunnel, from IMing I think, not from furiously taking notes. 

9.  Obsession with television, including, but not limited to, Gray’s Anatomy, Laguna Beach, NCIS, House, Boston Legal, Lost, CSI (the original one, although I like Miami a lot too), and Law and Order (OMG, that is like, as many hours as I spend in class, GAH, I’ve got to get a handle on my obsessions, they are controlling my life!). 

10.  On top of this, I’ve got a bit of a cold, or maybe it is allergies, but I don’t have time this week to be a hypochondriac, so I’m going to pretend that it is allergies and I’m not actually sick.  Even though this gives me an excuse to not run outside, when it might actually make me feel better. 

Other than my symptoms, I’m feeling pretty good about life.  The weather is starting to make me a little nervous, I don’t know, I think it is kind of creepy that I can wear a tube dress to the auburn game this weekend.  Not that I don’t enjoy the weather, because I do, I just find it kind of weird and creepy. 

I really have a hard time getting out of bed.  It was all I could do get out of bed this morning, but once I was up, I was in a fabulous mood and feeling great about everything.  I don’t know if this is a product of one of my closest friends – Coffee, or the weather. 

I think is is something even more though, because I have been in a funk for the past couple of days, and I am feeling so much better today.  I think I have been dreading all the work I have to do in the next month, and have been hiding from it, when if I just spent a couple of days getting some work done then I would feel so much better about it. 

Today I think I am going to get my act together with regards to the fitness part of the bar exam.  Finger prints, credit report, blah blah, I’m surprised they don’t want a blood sample, a piece of my hair, and a retina scan.  My dad didn’t want to listen to my whining, he said if it was really as difficult as I’m making it out to be there wouldn’t be as many lawyers as there are.  He doesn’t think my complacency is very cute, when I told him the other day about how much my bar review course was going to cost, he asked me if I thought I might want to get a job between now and when I take the bar.  Details, Details. 

I’m more concerned about the Auburn game.  I missed the Arkansas game when I went to Bonnie’s wedding, and it was totally worth it, even if it was the first home game I’d missed in ten years.  But, now, I feel like I haven’t been to a home game in FOREVER!  and I’m really excited.  I hate auburn. 

So, this morning I had to fill out an advanced directive – which is a power of attorney and a living will – for a class, our teacher is going to throw them away – but, it is a weird thing to think about.  Feeding tubes, ventilators, morphine….Gonzales v. Oregon….death with dignity.

I should know more about all this Supreme Court stuff, but politics makes me tired and everyone has a hidden agenda and no one is going to be able to truly tell me what the hell is actually going on. 

Hah, Dean Beaird called Ann Coulter a harlot yesterday in class because of her comments indicating that Harriet Miers wasn’t qualified for the Supreme Court because Miers went to SMU for law school.  Dean Beaird is very offended that Coulter was suggesting that only Ivy League law school graduates were qualified for the Supreme Court.  I love him, he is hilarious. 

Kisses.