I have been thinking about the adjustments that have to be made in order to survive law school. A couple of them are adjustments from college to law school – as opposed to simply real life (which I have little experience with) to law school, but regardless, these are the things I struggle with.
1. I struggle with getting actual work done during the day. In college, I studied at night. Unless I was writing a paper the hours before it was due in the morning, I studied exclusively at night. I think better at night. I focus better at night. Actually, I think too much at night and studying is a good way to not dwell on other things. Well, in law school, studying during the day is required if only because there is so much work to be done. Also, if you think about it, in the real world I am going to be required to do work during the day and not at night. I guess it is something I need to learn anyway – but I honestly and completely prefer to study at night.
2. I struggle with the wireless internet. Right now, I am in class. I should be paying attention to my professor who is engaging and animated – but instead I am writing this. On one hand sometimes I can listen better when I am doing something else, but I’m sure I would learn more if didn’t play on the web. On the same note, I would fall asleep in class more often if I didn’t have the internet.
3. I struggle with being under the microscope. I am being watched, I know I am. Some people pay attention to how much I eat, others keep track of how much time I spend in the library, others observe who I hang out with, who I spend too much time with, how many days I have missed of a certain class, who I left the bar with Friday night, how often I work out, when I started outlining, if I read for class today, etc. I know that this is all part of being an intense environment, and I know that I do it too. College allows us to be anonymous on many levels that law school does not. Just because I am paranoid doesn’t mean someone isn’t following me.
4. I struggle with my professional self esteem. I ooze self esteem in most parts of my life, but for some reason I can’t be confident about my place in the working world. The rejections suffered in law school have negatively impacted me. But I think this goes back before law school, it goes back to the first disillusionments of college. I have so many people that believe in me, but at the same time it has been a long time since I felt truly good at something. Also, I have never gotten anything I have ever interviewed for. I am great at cocktail parties, terrible at interviews. It amazes me, I really don’t understand.
5. I struggle with self discipline, time management, and staying focused. Not much to be said about that. Once I start to get really stressed, I start to lose things and misplace stuff, which just makes me more stressed. I am learning. Law school is a great exercise in accomplishing a task with little to no guidance or direction because what works for one person is not going to work for another, so it is all about figuring it out on your own. Kinda like a concentrated version of life.
the thin line between optimism and delusion... 
Well you appear to be doing very well right now – I see you from the library and you are typing something that apperas to be school-related. OK wait – you just left to answer your phone. But that’s okay, too!
I think the things you struggle with are things that most normal human beings struggle with. I have had a hard time lately, too, with being productive. I have played so many games of yahoo gin that I am thinking about becoming a professional gin player. Anyways, point is to hang in there – we’re close to the half way point here!!
Thanks girl – you’re right, we are passed the hardest part. I think I am going to start entering free cell competitions in my spare time to support my coffee and vending machine habits, because I am really good at it. Sometimes I wonder what I would do without my laptop, I don’t know how I survived class as an undergrad! I’m sure I didn’t pay attention.
I concur!
I struggle with exactly the same issues. Except my new thing is looking for apartments or honeymoon spots (for when I maybe get married in like 5 years) or spider solitaire. All 3 are detrimental to my focus, but, I think I would pass out if I tried to pay attention. Don’t let the law school crap get you down- I mean, you recovered from high school, right?
You are onto something about studying at night. I feel I can concentrate better in the morning (like in the lib. before everyone gets there at 9:30) or late at night. I believe the reason is when you study at night, the day has already passed and you don’t have to worry about big details (class) or small details (when am I going to eat lunch, or go to the gym). You also don’t have any type of weather to distract you (like a sunny day) Just a thought.
–NTH