the thin line between optimism and delusion…

It is a tremendously beautiful day.  Tomorrow night is a full moon with a total lunar eclipse.  How exciting is that?  Full moons give me CRAZY dreams.  I really hesitate to tell y’all what I dreamed about last night, because I feel y’all will either think I am making it up, or that I am in fact, nuts.  It is hard to believe that I could have so many whacked out dreams in one night, but hey.  I don’t think I’m creative enough to make this stuff up while I’m awake. 

Dream #1-

Okay, the first part of my dream involved a the ghost of a woman.  She haunted a portion of a school or a camp or some sort of institution that I attended.  She was something like the ghosts in Harry Potter, because she wasn’t mean, she just didn’t like a lot of people.  She wore an apron and a chef hat and she had a particular corridor that she haunted (hah.  literally).  The specifics are fuzzy, but she got really upset at one of the students, and I had to talk to her about how he wasn’t actually a threat to her and that she would like him if they got to know each other. A strange twist to this story is that the ghost really liked diet coke. 

Dream #2

This dream was a lot more realistic, in that it is something that could actually happen, but, not really.  It was the night before a football game, and I was with a large group of people who were all going to the game together.  We were all going to travel to Athens (I assume) and go to the game.  It was a late afternoon/night game, but obviously it would be an all day affair.  It was a very important game that I had to go to, and was very excited about.  We were in the mountains somewhere, and would be traveling from the mountains to Athens late that night.  It was pouring down rain.  Total monsoon rain.  And we had all our bags packed and ready to be loaded in the car.  Well, somehow, I realize that the day after the football game  I was suppose to take the bar exam.  (in real life I am taking the south carolina bar this summer).  So in my dream the south carolina bar exam was the day after this really big football game that I had to go to. 

In realizing that I am suppose to take the bar, I also realize that I have not studied for five minutes and I am totally unprepared.  I also do not have any materials with which to prepare.  I started asking everyone if they knew anyone with a PMBR book.  While I am freaking out about this, people are loading the cars with our luggage.  Somehow, my luggage gets set out in the rain and my bag (it was a sort of very bradley bag, even though I don’t own one of those) filled up with water completely. 

I become very upset that my bag has filled up completely with water, and that I have to take the bar exam, and that the only time I am going to have to study is going to be if I wake up early the next morning and go to the law library and try to find some materials and cram for a little while before the game. 

My bag is sitting on the tailgate of an SUV, and I am trying to dump all the standing water from the inside of my bag out onto the ground, but it isn’t working very well.  So now on top of everything I don’t know what I’m going to wear the game either. 

I’m not sure how it all resolved, other than the fact that I woke up this morning and none of the problems in my dream were true.  I’ve read that having anxiety dreams is a healthy way for your mind to deal with the stress and anxiety in your life that you can’t process during the day.  But by processing it in your dreams at night, your next day is calmer and less anxious than it would be if you didn’t have the dreams.  I hope this is true, because that would mean that my mind is super healthy.  Otherwise, the alternative is that I am not stable, which is less comforting. 

I don’t feel very anxious today.