Archive for December 14th, 2004

Maybe I should go slide

Maybe I should go slide down the banister. It might make me feel better.

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exam speech

sometimes I like to write things in my exams that are completely superfluous – like this:

when I think there is a good chance that what I have said is wrong:
"I am pretty sure that ‘issue’ includes the spouse of the dead person (and/or Testator/Decedent)."

Know what? spouse is not included in issue. points off. In addition – my teacher doesn’t care whether I am "pretty sure" or not.

Or when I have no idea but it just sounds really bad:
"I do not think that Chemical, Inc. should be penalized for reusing methylene chloride obtained from stripped paint in bubble christmas lights because this has to be better than making more methylene chloride in addition to the methylene chloride that is already in existence in the stripped paint."

Know what? My teacher doesn’t give a damn about what I think. Never start a sentence in an exam with "I think." It is like when you order at a restaurant – don’t say, "Can I have…", because this is a pretty dumb questions when you are looking at a menu. Of course you can have – that is the point of the restaurant. The only place "can I have" is appropriate is at some soul food or bar-b-q restaurant where they only cook a certain amount and when they run out, you are out of luck. "I think.." is only appropriate when you are talking to someone who cares about you as an individual and about your opinion (maybe your mom?). When grading your exam – your law professor does not care about you as an individual or about your opinion.

When I have a minute left in an exam and I don’t have any thoughts that can be articulated in a minute but I don’t want to spend the last minute before my exam cuts off staring at the screen:

"To conclude, it was negligent of Chemical Inc to not warn their non-english speaking workers about the dangers associated with radio active waste, because it is dangerous and the workers didn’t know it was radio active, but it doesn’t really matter because in georgia not warning isn’t enou…" (at which point the computer beeps, and cuts off, sealing my fate as a below average student).

If I was a professor I might be tempted to take off points for stupid reiteration of obvious facts stated in the problem. But as a student – I would hate a professor for doing this. I get nervous, and sometimes typing something – any thing – especially something that isn’t "wrong" even if it isn’t right – makes me feel better.

I’m having problems getting my life together tonight. I have so much more of my business crimes take home exam to go. I have got to get a grip on my attention. Why oh why do I think I will be able to pay attention for 17 hours straight on the last night of finals when I can’t pay attention for three hours straight during a regular school day?

Brrrrrrrrr -it is cold outside. I love black’s law dictionary. any legal term not in black’s law doesn’t count as far as I’m concerned (and I mean the pocket edition). This leaves out all kinds of legal terms. What a happy thought. Ignoring legal terms. Pretending them away. How do you feel about the misappropriation theory of security fraud? Pretty messed up, huh? I think the criminals in business crimes today are the federal prosecutors. Oh, and the enron people that ruined all those people’s lives by destroying their retirement funds. I think I am going to go wander around.

In other news, this time tomorrow I will be drinking something alcoholic – most likely a beer. Mmmmmmm, happy thoughts, happy thoughts, happy thoughts……I would burn my books but I think according to what I learned in environmental law I might exceed my daily allowed load of ash pollution.

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