I get a lot of South Carolina political spam on my work email. I work and live in Georgia.
My thumb got smashed in a drawer yesterday. It is the kind of kitchen drawer that is somewhat weighted, where when it gets a certain amount of closed, it closes really quickly and heavily. It hurt. It hasn’t turned black which almost adds insult to injury because I feel like I’m being overly dramatic. But I swear it really hurts.
I did yoga on demand yesterday after I ran in the freezing cold. My shoulders are seriously feeling it this morning. I slept like a baby last night after my workout. I forget how nice it is to go to sleep when you have abused your body.
I like my job.
I watched so many movies this weekend. What Ever Happened to Baby Jane – which scared the hell out of me, Waitress – which I thought was really cute (I love Keri Russell), then a bunch of movies I’d seen before, Devil Wears Prada (elizabeth had never seen it), Troy, Mary Kate and Ashley’s "When in Rome", Reversal of Fortune (I love law movies, I know, I’m an idiot – but my knowledge of this movie helped me impress my evidence teacher in law school). Sunday I went and saw the Bucket List with my parents. It was cute and quite the tear jerker.
I have so many important things to do – like laundry, and the grocery store, and picking up dry cleaning. Things I should have done over my long weekend.
I’ve been having a lot of thoughts about weddings, and people getting married and trying to stay on the same page with your married friends when you are single and your single friends when you are married. I don’t have time to sort them all out right now. But I’ve been thinking about it. It seems to be the trend to lose touch with your married friends, for at least the first six months to a year after the wedding. Maybe you keep up for a month or two after the wedding. But lines of communication seem to often fail. I don’t want any of my married friends to think this is directed at them, because so many of them make a serious effort to keep in touch and do a good job of it. And I know a lot of it is my fault, I have a tendency to back off and not call as often because I don’t want to be a bother, and also as a self preservation tactic of you can’t drop me if I’ve already dropped you (this one is only used in severe circumstances, and is really more of an impulse of bad self esteem that I rarely act upon).
The bottom line is, keeping in touch is hard in general, and it is easier to keep in touch with people who are at the same stage of life as you and harder to keep in touch with people who are going through different stages. Basically I’m always shocked at the disconnect that seems to emerge between single people and married people. And this is a huge generalization. I would expect married people feel it just as much as single people do. Maybe I’m wrong. I hope y’all will tell me if I am.
The most important thing to be said with all this is that it isn’t anyone’s fault. And I have TONS of fun with all of my married friends. I’m a great third wheel. I’m a great fifth and seventh wheel. And it makes me happy to see my friends happy. And I don’t have a burning desire to be married right now. I’d like to know I’ll be married on day. My married friends give me hope.
But it does change things. How you relate, what you talk about, when you talk, where you see each other, how you approach problems, etc. It is something to think about. Let me know what y’all think.
the thin line between optimism and delusion... 
you know, i do think you’ve got a point. however, i think there are many other factors that are thrown into the mix. distance is probably the greatest one that i’ve found. i was just thinking the other day (after a good day of rummaging through friends on facebook) that there are lots and lots of people that i love. and there are only a few people that i am currently really close to. and the ones that i’m not as close to, if i even talk to them at all, are the ones who don’t live nearby.
but on the note of marriage, i do think that your friendship changes. but after an exhaustive search to find out if there was any way of avoiding that, i’ve come to the conclusion that there isn’t. a husband becomes the wife’s number one priority, and vice versa. and there’s the fact that you don’t live with your girlfriends anymore. however, i do think there are people who just suck at keeping in touch. so these friends are definitely going to fall off the face of the earth once they get married, if they haven’t already. i just hope that one day i can be a wife and still be a good friend.
sorry for the soapbox. you touched a nerve. 🙂