I had one of those disconnected afternoon. I couldn’t focus and I was dwelling on things that are totally out of my control. Even more than dwelling, I was…not there.
Donna (our receptionist who doubles as a paralegal and document drafter – she can complete tasks in ten minutes that would take me an hour) and I decided that maybe the office had a carbon monoxide leak because we both had a bad case of the stupids.
After work I went to the mall. There were things I needed to buy. Instead I wandered around the bookstore and the sporting goods store for a.very.long.time. All I bought was some greeting cards for no one in particular, something I really don’t need.
I tried to order some hibatchi to go because of a weird craving. The restaurant within my acceptable radius only does sushi to go. Sad.
I (shockingly) didn’t have a wreck on the way home. I sat on my floor for a while, briscoe stared at me in the pounce stance. I contemplated whether I had a fever or not, thought I might be coming down with the flu.
I forced myself downstairs and into the backyard with B. She wanted to play. She barked, she hauled around the yard, she tried to bit me. And I had to laugh. I chased her around the yard for a while, then I got my book and a glass of wine and some cheese, and I sat in the backyard under the trees with the mockingbirds and the leafy greenness of spring.
Now I feel better. I’m watching Lost (I can’t watch it late at night, it scares me!), and once I eat something, I plan on going to sleep very, very, early.
the thin line between optimism and delusion... 