March | 2009 | the thin line between optimism and delusion...

Archive for March, 2009

I have a lot of thoughts on goals –

Posted in Dreams, Thoughts on March 31, 2009| Leave a Comment »

and difficulties and biting off more than you can chew. My thoughts have to do with marathons and grad school and running over the people in your life with your dreams and being jealous of other people’s dreams and being frustrated and fulfilled by your dreams. About how learning to do something well and taking the time to actually focus long enough on one dream before you jump to another dream and not letting the disappointment of last years dream keep you from this year’s dream.

But I’m rambling. I’m not really thinking about dreams the way I just described. I’m thinking more about having a goal that seems overwhelming and completing it, and how it can be exhilarating and at the same time something of a let down until you find another goal. Because it leaves a space. And often time, space is something I can be uncomfortable with.

Right now I’m completely overwhelmed with my house and weddings and work and the fact that the Masters is next week and I complain that all I want is a day to do nothing. But when that day comes, when I have a few weekends without plans, the first weekend without plans will be difficult for me. I’ll feel like I’m missing something or that I should be engaged in something, when really I just need space to breathe.

I’ve b een thinking about this because Ana has been writing about how she decided to quit smoking because she needed a new personal challenge. And then Judith wrote about how cooking elaborate meals for her children on their birthdays challenged her and made her feel special. And their writing really resonated with me this week.

So I’ve been thinking. Thinking and packing and cleaning and working and shopping for things I MUST HAVE (like a bathroom sink), and painting and untangling garden hoses and peeling off tape and trying not to collapse from exhaustion.

Speaking of…the sheep need me to go count them so they can go to sleep too.

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I told Briscoe you might be stopping by….

Posted in Augusta on March 16, 2009| 6 Comments »

(I love bungalow houses, and I’m still in shock that I actually own one.) Briscoe really likes the front porch. The house! watchdog And since we haven’t moved in yet, she volunteered to wait on the front porch for you, in case I got tied up and missed you.

Comfy

She wasn’t sure what time you were going to show up, so she decided to get comfortable on the porch.

come on in!

I made Briscoe her own key the other day, and she couldn’t wait to show you everything.

lazy

Too bad Briscoe is a lazy puppy who can’t make it ten feet before laying down again.

artwork

We have spent a lot of time planning and thinking about where everything should go. She wants your opinion on where we should hang some pictures and what colors we should paint the walls, because she thinks you have great tastes.

2nd bedroom

This is the bedroom that Briscoe wants.

bed

She thinks a bed would look good right where she is laying. There is good light, and you can see two doorways and make sure no one sneaks up on you.

kitchen 1

The kitchen needs some paint like whoa(and a dishwasher, but don’t worry, it is in the dining room waiting to be installed), but Briscoe likes it because there is a door mat, and she thinks it sucks that there are so few rugs in this joint. She keeps complaining, saying this place could use a pillow, or a couch, or SOMETHING fluffy and soft besides the freaking dog!

stove

One thing that Briscoe and I agree about 100% is that this stove is a little out of date, and a strange size. But since this picture was taken I’ve painted the hood with liquid stainless steel and it looks awesome.

bar nook

Briscoe thinks the little nook is going to make an excellent bar. I hope she’s already offered you a drink by this point in the tour, otherwise I’m disappointed in her hosting skills. I bet she was drinking beer on the porch before you got there. Booze Hound.

chalkboard

I hope she didn’t try to take credit for the chalkboard painted refrigerator. All she did was bitch and complain that I was getting paint in her hair. But she does agree it looks a lot better.

Wanna go upstairs

The steps are really steep so be careful!

blinded

The stairwell is sort of dark, and bright flashes can blind fuzzy headed dogs.

upstairs

The upstairs used to be a separate apartment and has a door that leads to nothing. Apparently there were steps at one point, but now there is just a door, then a screen door, then air. The bank made me nail it shut before they assist me in the purchase. Briscoe thinks the fake carpet is super lame, and is trying to make do with door mat that is upstairs for some reason. Maybe for the door to nowhere?

dscn1354

This was the kitchen sink for the upstairs apartment. It’s a nice bizarre addition to any home. I bet she’s ready to show you backyard now. You’ll have to go back downstairs, through the dining room and the kitchen to the back door –

dscn1337

And She’s probably going to stay on the steps, and let you go into the yard. dscn1338

Notice our fabulous new fence, and the sweet carport that came FREE with the house.

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Some times the back screen door is hard to open, so Briscoe is going to hold it while you look around. Oh, you have to leave? She wants to show you one more thing in the front yard.

Blue Star Onions

Yay! All my life I’ve wanted a yard with Blue Star Onion flowers! The dreams you never knew could possibly come true! I hope you can come back sometime when it’s not just Briscoe. We can sit here and tell stories – stories

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Old friends, a twilight wedding, crawfish, green beer, and Friday the 13th.

Posted in Favorite People, Travel, Weddings on March 12, 2009| 2 Comments »

I’m leaving in a few minutes to drive to the ATL so I can fly to New Orleans in the morning. Betsy and Andrew are getting married on Saturday, and the weekend is going to be slam packed with excitement. My flight lands around noon tomorrow, Todd is suppose to take the day off from the Dome(and maybe pick me up from the airport, if I’m lucky), and everyone arriving for the wedding should be there by the time the crawfish boil starts tomorrow night. Todd has also promised a St. Patrick’s day parade at some point, and definitely some green beer.

I’m really looking forward to seeing everyone, so many special friends from the law school years, and I’m so excited for Betsy and Andrew. I tell Betsy all the time that I want to be just like her when I grow up. She’s such an amazing friend and I’m always impressed with how she and Andrew are able to have common goals and dreams and actively pursues these goals and dreams together in a successful and exciting way. I love them. And I love Kaya too.

Pray that it doesn’t rain, and I hope that your Friday the 13th is as fun as mine promises to be!

Kisses!

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Daylight Savings

Posted in Augusta, Current Affairs, outside on March 8, 2009| 1 Comment »

I am so happy. It is a beautiful day, the temperature is just to my liking, and I have a whole extra hour of sunshine to enjoy. Tomorrow morning when I have to wake up an hour earlier I doubt I will be so blissful, but right now I’m extremely pleased.

Yesterday was the Junior League Attic Sale. I honestly can’t remember the last time I did so much straight up manual labor in one day. I moved furniture, shutters, plywood, tables, and about everything else under the sun, including a box of children’s shoes, which were pretty cute. I have been dreading the attic sale for months. Last saturday we had to move everything from the warehouse to the fairgrounds, and then we worked from 6-9 every night this week, and finally had to be at the fairgrounds at 6:30 yesterday morning. None of that sounded like a lot of fun to me. I seriously considered dropping out. But I’ve never quit anything in my life, and I didn’t really want to start now. But, I also hate to be a part of anything that I can’t be enthusiastic about and I hate people who have bad attitudes, and I didn’t want to be the person with the bad attitude. So I tried to suck it up. And you know, it did end up being fun, and I’m really glad I didn’t drop out. It went by a lot quicker than I anticipated. But it was a lot of work, and it was really dirty. My elbows hurt. And I made some friends.

Yesterday afternoon (after a hot shower) we went to Vallartas and ate cheese dip and drank beers and margaritas and relaxed in the sunshine and it was so nice to be finished with all the hard work and it was so warm outside I was able to wear my favorite summer dress for the for time this year. I listened to my new friends tell the stories of how they ended up in augusta and what led them to the junior league. I convinced everyone that they wanted to come over to my new house and sit on my front porch. It was awesome. My sweet little house has been empty for a couple of years and it is so happy to have people to sit on it’s front porch on Saturday night. I just hope my new neighbors are as excited as my house is.

Speaking of my house, I’m going to go over there in a few minutes and take some pictures. I should have taken pictures as soon as I bought it, but it was pouring down rain all last weekend and so dark, and then I’ve been at the fairgrounds all week, but today is beautiful and I want to take pictures before we paint and decorate and get everything together. I will try to put some up so you can see the progress.

My aching muscles and joints are having a battle with my brain. My brain is saying, GET UP! GO DO SOMETHING! IT’S SO PRETTY! YOU HAVE THINGS TO DO! My joints and muscles are saying, PLEASE LEAVE US ALONE! STOP ABUSING US! WE’VE HAD ENOUGH!!

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The Blog LoveFest

Posted in Favorite People, Weblogs on March 3, 2009| Leave a Comment »

Betsy and I have been having a little reciprocal love on the blogs, which is probably only entertaining to the two of us, and for that I apologize. But I do have a few more things to say about Betsy, in response to her last post about me.

My law school friends referred to Betsy as the WGF, which stands for World’s Greatest Flirt. And I learned a great deal about flirting from the Betsy, who is truly, a master. She is such a phenomenal flirt, she once convinced a gay man to rent his house to her, instead of selling it. The house was on the market, had a for sale sign in the yard, and was listed for something close to a million dollars. Betsy called the man and flirted her way into a rental for herself and three other girls. To this day, the house is still being rented to four girls, the original girls have slowly gotten married or moved away and have been replaced. But I still have a key to this magical house, lovingly referred to as the Terrace.

When the grass would get too long on the front lawn of the Terrace, Betsy would simply find some unsuspecting yard man during her afternoon run and convince him to stop by her house on his way home and mow the lawn real quick for $20. Luckily, she is a bilingual flirt, and her Spanish has come in handy at such times.

Did I mention the fact that Betsy is an aerobics instructor? I’ve heard her step and her sculpt class are legendary. I’ve heard, mostly because I’m too uncoordinated to do aerobics, and she has this horrible habit of teaching class at 6 am.

Betsy taught me how to take the five extra minutes and ask about the sale price that rang up more than what was on the shelf, how to convince a mechanic to plug the hole in your tire for a $10 tip, and the best way to handle a server at a restaurant who is less than thrilled to be taking your order. Betsy’s ability to handle people always amazes and inspires me.

I wish we were eating lunch at five star, or the cafe at pharr, or the resort. Sigh. Another day.

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Ah, my first (and favorite) friend I picked out all by myself when I moved away from home.

Posted in Athens, Favorite People on March 1, 2009| 2 Comments »

Y’all, Betsy is awesome. She wrote this post that basically made me tear up. I LOVE the things that she listed (the mini skirt part makes me laugh, that was only a phase I went through for four or seven years, mostly at football games). But don’t let her lie to you. I copy her even more than she copies me. The cross I wear around my neck? That I’ve been wearing almost every day for the past nine years? She had it first. And I wanted it. And if you know me, you know that I never want to have on the same thing as someone else. I’m very concerned with being my own person and with having my own special, different jewelry, clothing, shoes, dog, basically, I want to be different. But Betsy is one of the few people who I wanted to copy and who I knew wouldn’t mind if I copied her. Actually, from the moment I met Betsy, the week of rush our freshman year of college, I really wanted to be her friend. Luckily, we ended up on the same lawn on bid day, and had a unique opportunity to be friends.

Betsy and I share the love of many things, often things that other people dislike. We share the bizarre appreciation of getting into a hot car that has been baking in the sun on a summer day, we both have an extreme dislike of authority, and any time I get lost in the ATL I know that all I have to do is call Betsy and she will know exactly where I am and where I am going and how I need to get there.

We use the same kind of toothbrush, make up, and have been known to steal each other’s hair brush. She taught me how to not wash my hair every day and the usefulness of a nalgene bottle. She introduced me to Amos Lee and Patty Griffin, who both changed my life. Together we learned accounting, forgiveness, trust, finance, how to get over a break up, how to survive a terrible football game date, how to put the pieces back together when our carefully laid plans didn’t work out (margarita machines come in handy at such times and can be rented by the night), and how just laying in the grass in the front yard can solve a lot of problems.

I know Betsy and I will continue to copy each other, although she is a little ahead of me in life right now. I was really looking forward to meeting Baby Charlsie Bagwell, but since Betsy is set to have a BOY in a few months, the world is going to have to wait on Baby Charlsie (Betsy, I’m serious, I think Charlsie Bagwell has a nice ring to it, we can call her CB and ask her what her 20 is all the time, and say things like, 10-4, over). It makes me so happy that Briscoe and Amos are the same kind of dog, because Betsy and I are the same kind of people. We are Kindred Spirits. Our dogs have our personalities, which is just the way it should be. I want to be like Briscoe, and Amos and Betsy – light, fluffy, happy, and adventurous.

There are a lot of other things I need to tell you all, the last few weeks have been eventful, and the next few weeks are going to be crazy. My whole body is tired. But I will leave you with this one update.