the thin line between optimism and delusion…

*I wrote this post a week and a half ago and it didn’t get posted due to operational error.  So I’m reposting now.  I did reread it and I think it still makes sense.

A while back, at the beginning of the year – I said I was going to reflect on things I learned in the past decade.  That still hasn’t happened.  I think it is partially too big of a task to complete in one sitting, and that I’ve become overwhelmed by it, thus paralyzing my writing completely.  So I’ve decided to just start writing down little things I’ve learned, then maybe over time I’ll have enough for a whole – WHAT I LEARNED IN THE (I’m not sure what you call 2000-2010 – so I’m going to call it my 20s) – MY TWENTIES.  This could take a while, and a lot of these things I learned this week, but I haven’t turned 30 yet, so I’m going to go ahead and count it.

1.  Last night, while watching Lost, I realized that over the years I’ve learned that on television, when you are injured – either by a savage  beating, being hit by a car, falling off a cliff, ingesting poison, shot in the chest, hit in the head with a two by four or a baseball bat – if after such an incident, you begin to bleed profusely from your mouth – you are going to die.  I’ve also learned that a lot of times the above mentioned events occur to television characters, and these characters do not bleed profusely from the mouth and survive these catastrophic events with little trouble.  Being hit in the head with a rock can kill you in real life.

2.  Briscoe really likes cats and thinks they want to play with her.  Cats do not want to play with Briscoe.

3.  Feeling good about your physical appearance only takes you through the first fifteen minutes of a cocktail party.  After that, you better feel good about yourself in some other way, or it’s going to be a long night – for you, and the people around you.

4.  I don’t like to work out when I’m hung over.  I know that people say it makes you feel better, but part of me thinks those people are just masochists who feel the need to punish themselves for the great time they had the night before.  Maybe this is just my rationalizing excuse for why I don’t like to do it.  When I am hung over – I like to lay on the couch and watch television or go to brunch and eat lots of food and drink a bloody mary.  I can’t fight who I am.

5.  When you hate your job, it manifest itself in other aspects of your life in an unpredictable fashion.  I personally stop eating and sleeping, but that’s just me.  Many people suffer complete opposite reactions.  That being said, I think there is a requirement that at some point in your 20s, you should have a job you hate, that lasts for longer than a year, where you learn a lot, but hate ever minute of it.  I think this partially because I think it helps people with the incentive to find the right job, and appreciate to the fullest extent the rarity of having a job you don’t hate.   It helps you to be empathetic to other people’s plight.  I also believe that work is work, and regardless of what you do, there are going to be times you don’t enjoy it, because, well, it’s work.

6.  Along those same lines, I instantly dislike any article of clothing I wear to work.  Dislike is the wrong word.  Once I wear something to work, it becomes work clothes, and I won’t ever wear that article of clothing outside of work.  It’s been tainted.   It is sad really.  Many a great outfit has been ruined.

7.  Friends who will mow your lawn or lend you their lawn mower are the best kinds of friends.  They are in the same category of friends who will make you a cake from scratch for your birthday and bring you gatorade and saltines when you have the flu.

8.  Speaking of saltines, I feel very strongly about the fact that the best way to survive a stomach bug or a horrible hangover is saltines and ginger ale.  Ginger ale is a gift from the gods.  Seriously.  Everyone should have saltines and ginger ale in stock in their house, because you just never know.

9.  GIS maps of your neighborhood can provide hours of entertainment.