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Archive for September 2nd, 2004

I thought I had won

Posted in Food and Drink, Lance the vending machine, Law School on September 2, 2004| Leave a Comment »

I thought I had won the vending machine lottery the other day, but I think I was tricked. I guess this was probably Monday, and I was buying crackers out of the vending machine. When I went to retrieve my crackers, I found two candy bars in the machine for the taking. So I took both of them and hurried off because Shannon and Anisa were waiting on me. I was really excited.  The candy bars were a new breed, some sort of M&M candy bar, called M-azing. I gave one of the candy bars to Shannon and kept one for myself (Anisa said it was okay). Then when I got back to the library I told Jimmy and Andrew about my good luck, and they told me that I shouldn’t eat the candy bar because it was probably poisoned, especially since it was a kind of candy bar that no one had ever seen before. I thought this was a little paranoid, but since I have a problem with paranoia I decided to leave the candy bar with the two of them (this was probably always the plan, like when your older siblings would talk you into giving them something by convincing you it sucked), but anyway, I fell for it. On my next trip to the vending machine I thought I would check for the candy bar among the other candy bars in the coils. And here is the weird thing, that made me glad I didn’t eat the candy bar, THE M&M CANDY BAR ISN’T EVEN AN OPTION TO BUY!! So the vending machine in which I found the candy bar doesn’t even sell the candy bar. So where did it come from? Was it a clever marketing ploy by Mars to get people to try out their new candy bar? do they instruct the vending machine man to strategically place the candy bars where they will be found by unsuspecting, hungry law students, or am I being paranoid again? I feel manipulated, or something. Any thoughts?

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football, thunderstorms, ipods, and environmental law

Posted in Law School, Thoughts on September 2, 2004| Leave a Comment »

My current problem these days is that I don’t like the work that is required in law school. I like law school, and I love the people in law school, but I just can’t do the work. I mean, I can do the work, but when I really and truly try to get all the reading done, one of two things happen. I either spend all day in the library and don’t do anything else with my day, which leads to be me being unhappy and unfulfilled as an individual, or I don’t get all my work done, I get like 80% of my work done and I end up feeling like a failure and any positive energy gained by whatever activity kept me from finishing the work is lost in my unhappiness of being unsuccessful. This has been a very happy week for me and I have been very unproductive. So here is the question, am I lazy? Am I a waste of a human being? I hate that I don’t feel productive, but it seems better than the alternative of being unhappy. Allison says that this probably means that I shouldn’t be in law school. But then she said that she doesn’t really think that. I know I am suppose to be here, I just can’t do the work. Plus, I only perform under pressure, which is difficult in law school because the only real deadline is finals, which is months away. It is difficult because maybe I’m not cut out to be an attorney. Maybe law school is going to be the means to some other end. But I want to be an attorney. There are definitely parts of the lawyering process that make me really happy and excited. But I just get bogged down in other parts of it. The only way I am going to make it through this is if I realize my limitations, and right now, my limitations include not doing things that suck all the happiness out of my life. Is this a terrible way to think? I don’t want to do things halfway, I really am serious about being the best I can be, but at what cost? I guess the question is what does the world need out of me? I don’t know, but it is my present dilemma.

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