the thin line between optimism and delusion…

For some reason this week – I have had lots of thoughts about things to write – but I have been uninspired to actually write. I think this is probably unhealthy – it probably adds to my suppressed individual status. But these are some things that have been going through my head.

Phrase I would have liked to have worked into my environmental law exam:

People criticize CERCLA for cleaning too inefficiently – “protecting non-existing dirt-eating children.” I love that. non-existing dirt eating children.

How professors really grade your exams – don’t worry – they actually put a lot of thought into it. (idea stolen from Alex):

Professor sitting alone in office – dramatic music playing in the background. He shuffles through the papers – identified only by the 4 digit random number.
0426 – daughter’s birthday – A
7654 – amount wasted on son’s tuition at college last semester – C
5346 – last four digits of social – A+
3865 – last four digits of ex-wife’s social – D
1229 – today’s date – B

and so on and so on…..

Sample Question from my Workers Comp exam:

Johnny is working on a punch press in Detroit. Johnny doesn’t wear safety goggles and his employer – Disaster Inc – has rigged up his machine to bypass the safety features installed by the manufacturer – Prudence Inc – because it allows Johnny to work faster and this benefits Disaster. Johnny cuts his hand off in the punch press after showing up to work drunk and while joking around with co-worker Dave. What can Johnny do about his lost arm.
A. Nothing – shouldn’t come to work drunk – no workers comp and no tort case.
B. Johnny can sue Disaster and Prudence in tort and send them into bankruptcy.
C. Johnny can cut Dave’s hand off.
D. Johnny can blow up the whole plant

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It is easy to get caught up in my own life. I quickly become absorbed in my immediate surroundings and lose sight of the world around me. Right now it is hard for me to relate to anyone that is not in law school. This is interesting because this time last year I was not so absorbed.

While getting a bagel at Zim’s this morning I became aware of the vast quantities of undergraduate sorority girls scattered about the restaurant. They wore sevens, cool fleeces, carried large purses, and a couple had on large sunglasses. Most had their hair in a messy ponytail (but the same messy ponytail). And of course each group vaguely knew each other. They all looked very young, and were all very, very pretty.

The large groups that these girls were traveling in made me realize that they either live in the dorm or, more likely, live in the house together. They probably all went out last night(to find dates to Christmas date nights), came home late, ordered pizza, and slept in this morning. When they did finally get up, they went and laid in each other’s beds and complained and told ridiculous stories of boys and bars and girls in other sororities or of other ages. Someone had the bright idea to go to Zim’s, and they all piled into an oversized SUV, cranked up the music, and took off. After Zim’s they probably drove downtown to pick up someone’s car or someone’s credit card.

It caught me off guard how far removed I am from such situations. It made me kinda sad. But it also made me realize how so many different worlds can co-exist blissfully unaware of each other.
This afternoon Jessica and I saw a hawk on north campus. He was huge. It is strange to think of hawks in the middle of the town. It just makes me realize how small Athens really is. Yet another crazy co-existence. (jessica hates birds! isn’t that awesome?)

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Last night found Christy and myself in a small room in the law school hyper-ventilating. Well, this is an exaggeration. We are actually eating Gyro Wrap. But we should have been hyper-ventilating. We were coming to the conclusion that we did not know enough con law and did not really have it in us to learn. But we gave a damn good effort. We also did a couple of other things.

Things Christy and I did while studying:
1. Called Kipp to make sure he was still alive. Although he ignored our phone calls, he is, in fact, alive.
2. Slid down the banister in the foyer of the law school (I personally think that sliding down banisters is a little scary, it is especially scary to watch other people slid down them, plus it is never as much fun as the movies make it out to be. But, still fun).
3. Complained about how cold it was (inside and out).
4. Entertained Kiran with acrobatic feats – handstands, etc. in the law school foyer (btw – christy is very flexible and has a good handstand, but I can stand on my hands for minutes at a time).
5. Argued about which fast food place is the best – while compulsively checking our friends livejournals to see if they had anything new to say.
6. Christy lost her shoes.
7. I talked to Libby on the phone – and one of her friends from NJ who wanted to hear “what a real southern accent sounds like.” I’m not confident I actually qualify for this, but he seemed satisfied.
8. FINALLY figured out what the Dormant Commerce Clause was talking about – hint – it has to do with the states regulating commerce (hmmm….).
9. Listened to everyone’s cell phone conversations who stood outside our room. Used reasoning powers obtained in law school to conclude that law students are boring.
10. Burst into tears when attempt to fit 4000 legible words onto three pages failed (3,787 was the final tally – font: 9).
11. Recovered from tears and realized inclination to be overly dramatic much stronger than inclination to have actual breakdown. also don’t want to smug crisply printed out page of 3,787 desperately important words with tears.
12. Discussed how we couldn’t do this for the rest of our lives and promised ourselves that if our job was anything like this in the future we would drive off a cliff together (thema and louise style).

Professor Coenen just stopped to talk to me in the library and said that I looked very studious. I told him I was writing in my blog. He said I needed to get back to work. I told him I just finished a final. In other words – back off. Or – appearances are deceiving.

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Sarah used to always clean our apartment from top to bottom during finals. Christy told me yesterday that she watched a basketball game on tv the other night. Yesterday I went to a spinning class. I have been to spinning classes before – but I have never been to two spinning classes in the same month, maybe not even in the same year – because it hurts. This might have something to do with the fact that the people in my life (Daddy, Jessica, and Betsy) that spin like to take the advanced classes and I would never go on my own accord. I should know better.

Now, I don’t hate spinning. It can be kinda fun, if the instructor has good music (as he did last night). But I don’t really like spinning. What I do hate is how I feel the day after I spin. I feel like I have been hit by a car while riding a bike. I also don’t like to spin for the whole hour. I think it gets kinda boring – and my calves start to cramp up. Maybe if I spun (is this right? maybe did spinning?) more often, I wouldn’t cramp as badly. But somehow I doubt it. I always cramp. Part of this is that I don’t know how to take it easy when I haven’t done something in a while. I know I CAN handle it. Whether or not handling it is a good idea is a whole ‘nother story.

Halfway through the class I had to get off the bike and go walk on a treadmill to get my calf back in order. I could have handled to calf cramp if my shin muscle hadn’t decided to cramp at the same time. While walking on the treadmill it was all I could do to talk myself into going back to the class. I really didn’t want to. My whole body felt like rubber. But, being ridiculously prideful, I did. Which is why I can’t walk today.

After class, I stopped to ask the instructor what I should do about my leg cramping. First he hesitated, then he told me that I looked like a muscular person – and asked if I minded that he said that – apparently some women are highly offended by this (hopefully not women that hang out in gyms). Once I assured him that I accepted this fact years ago – he then told me that because I was muscular and because I appeared to have little body fat – I would be prone to cramps. Now, normally I would be happy for someone to tell me I have little body fat. But I always lose a lot of weight during exams and this time has been an extreme. I only did the spinning class for a stress release, not to lose weight. And I don’t like the drastic weight loss during finals, it just seems so unhealthy. It bothers me that my mental stress can cause my body to react in such a negative way. Oh well, I guess I will just have to start eating more snickers. (poor me).

After class I went to Publix and bought a bunch of groceries to make me feel better about taking positive steps to eat enough. I had the most pleasant experience in Publix, everyone was really nice – it was refreshing.

p.s. LOST was so scary last night!!!!! I love this show, really, really, really love it.

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