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Archive for July, 2006

I’ve decided that every time I start to beat myself up about the bar – which is normally in the late afternoon, I’m going to try to remember all the positive thoughts I’ve had throughout the day to remind myself that I haven’t been acting like a drama queen all day.  There will be no more wallowing. 

Things I was thankful for today – sunshine, Zaxby’s, and my precious little car who needs a bath and a new set of speakers, sweet friends, and sweet tea. 

Encouraging Bible verse of the day –

Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides.  You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors.  So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely.  Let it do its work so that you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.  If you don’t know what you are doing, pray to the Father.  He loves to help.  You’ll get his help and won’t be condescended to when you ask for it.  Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought.

James 1:2-6  (I think – I am looking at the message and sometimes it is hard to tell when one verse ends and the other begins). 

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Hey. This is going to be a list post.   I’m going to start by making a list of things that make me happy because I’m so positive. 

1.  It makes me happy that the bugs outside are deafeningly loud.  I LOVE loud summertime bugs.  I’m not sure much of anything makes me happier. 

2.  On that note, I’m happy about the fact that I’m going to Sky Valley this weekend and will get to hear even LOUDER bugs and will be able to sleep with my windows open to enhance the sound. 

3.  Being the stalker that I am, I’m happy that I realized today that one of the people I used to stalk – a boy I used to like to keep tabs on – hadn’t occurred to me in over a month.  I wish I could tell you I didn’t stalk – but really more than anything it is that I get bored and end up on facebook and myspace and I think – hmmmm, whose weekend plans would I be interested in knowing?  So I end up checking certain profiles and then I start to do it out of habit more than anything.  I have compulsive tendencies.  So it is always great when I realize that not only am I not interested in what certain people are doing anymore, I have even beat my compulsion.  If y’all didn’t think I was crazy before, I’m sure you do now so I’ll move on to #4.

4.  I am happy that my friends invited me over to eat dinner tonight.  Caleb cooked a fabulous meal that I got to share with him and Faris and I also got to spend a little quality time with my sweet friend Jamie. 

5.  I’m happy that it stopped raining so I could go run today.  I ran a touch too far and I know I’m going to be super sore tomorrow – but at least I’m guaranteed a great nights sleep – which is my #1 concern these days.  Robert says I need to get my sleep issues looked into.  I think the sleep problems stem more from my anxiety problems.  But then again, I’m a hypochondriac. 

6.  I’m happy for all my exciting August plans that I will have to tell you about later. 

7.  I’m happy for my sweet friends all over the place who check on me and send me picture and text messages.  And also for all my amazing friends who I get to see every day at the classic center.  If it wasn’t for you all I would have crumbled into a million pieces long ago.  If only I could gather all my favorite people and make them all live within a half mile of each other.  Hmmm.

Okay, all you sweet friends of mine – This next list is for you.  I’m going to need for you all to abide by it from now until the bar is over.  Two weeks, you can do it – I know you can.  This applies to my friends who are not taking the bar – and to my friends who are taking the bar. 

1.  Don’t ask me about the bar specifically.  If you want to know how I’m doing – that is fine, but don’t let me launch into a lament about the bar. 

2.  Don’t ask me about the bar. 

3.  Don’t stop calling me.  Just knowing that you are thinking about me means a lot.  I promise I will call you back if I can, if not I’ll call you back when it is all over. 

4.  Don’t let me talk about the bar. 

5.  Keep me and all the poor souls taking the bar in your prayers. 

6.  Don’t let me dwell on being stressed.  Remind me that lots of people pass, and try to distract me – maybe with shiny objects or treats, I don’t know.  Anything.

7.  Please, Please, Please, if you can at all help it – don’t ask my advice on anything for the next two weeks.  I mean – if something really serious happens, you know I want to give my two cents.  Any thing trivial – I hate to say it – but you are on your own.  I can barely decide what to eat for lunch.  This request pains me the most because I love to give advice – but I also know is stresses me out. 

8.  Try to talk to me about other things.  I know I can do this – I know I can, and the encouragement that you know I can is tremendously inspiring.  Encourage me.  Don’t say things like – gah – that must suck or I’m sure you can’t wait for it to be over.  Because – that is obvious.  Tell me things like – I’m proud of you – you’ve done the hard part – stick with it – we are going to have lots of fun when it is over.  Like I said – shiny things and treats maybe. 

I hate to have to make these requests – but I realized today that I was wallowing and that I was letting the panic in my friends voices as we repeated the same sentences over and over again about what we should have done or might still do or wish we had time to do in order to be ready weigh very heavily upon my broad shoulders.  I’m dusting my shoulders off.  Dirt is gone.   I wish I had the strength and energy to be a shoulder to lean on, but the best I can do right now is the positive part of the post above.  I promise I will try to keep posting – but I’m going to limit what I say about the bar.  I’m not keeping score with anyone else, and you shouldn’t be either.  We all have our own battle.

Sweet dreams. 

p.s. Any boy who thinks I might be on their potential future wives list – I just want to let you know that I’ve decided for sure that I’m going to need at least part of a marching band in my wedding.  Seven piece drum band at the very least.  Thought I should get that off my chest.  Might be a deal breaker for some. 

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IF


   

   
If you can keep your head when all about you
  Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
  But make allowance for their doubting too:
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
  Or, being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated don’t give way to hating,
  And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
  If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
  And treat those two impostors just the same:.
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
  Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
  And stoop and build’em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
  And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings,
  And never breathe a word about your loss:
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
  To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
  Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
  Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
  If all men count with you, but none too much:
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
  With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
  And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!
   
   

Rudyard Kipling

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Best Idea Ever

ALWAYS put clean sheets on your bed before you leave town for a long weekend. 

Coming home to clean sheets is one of the greatest things that can ever happen. 

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It rained here this afternoon.  The temperature dropped.  Of course it was still hot. 

When I went outside a while after the rain stopped, my glasses fogged up. 

Awesome. 

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We are sitting on the beach, it is around 4, and everyone is starting to consider putting on more sunscreen. 

Me:  "Do you think I’m getting burned?  Do I look red?"

Bubba:  "Naw, you’re still white as hell."

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You know, it isn’t my idea of a good vacation unless you come home with bruises, bug bites, a sunburn and a headache. 

The waves at Folly beach today were exceptional.  I haven’t had that much fun since Myrtos. 

I just have to say that my patagonia bathing suit once again came through in the clutch and that the roughest wave was no match. 

Let my tell you how fun it is to play chicken in the crashing waves.  More fun than you could handle.  But whoever is on bottom is sort of likely to drown. 

Sunscreen is so much less effective when the waves are throwing you into the ground. 

I have sand in my ear.  And my hair.  And my belly button.  Oh, and my teeth. 

Overheard today –

"I heard that Clemson graduates didn’t know how to light a firework and just ended up burning themselves."

"When playing horseshoes, giving advice to the other team is against the law.  I’ll hurt you if you do it again."

"You lucked out.  You are getting boogie board lessons from a myrtle beach native.  I usually cost more than you could afford."

"I really liked shotgunning that beer.  I kind of want to do it again."

"Go big or go home."

Okay – we are heading to cook some low country boil in the low country.  Hate you. 

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