the thin line between optimism and delusion…

Happy New Year! I just stuffed myself with black eyed peas and collard greens so I can have good luck and make lots of money this year.

I am still adjusting to not living on the time frame of semesters and school years. This is my first year to not be returning to classes after New Year’s. I don’t think I’ve been very reflective here on the ole blog lately, but I think it is helpful to muse on the passing year and put thoughts on the year down on paper.

The past two days have been crazy – I went to the Widespread concert at Philips arena last night and the night before last I went to the Peach Bowl at the Georgia Dome. I have some pretty amazing friends who essentially planned everything and all I did was show up. I had a blast, but I am feeling a little run ragged.

Overall 2006 was a good year. A productive year. I spent so much time dreading the bar exam and getting a real job while I was in law school that when it all finally happened, it actually wasn’t as bad as I made it out to be in my mind. Don’t get me wrong – the bar sucked. But I was always planning on it sucking. I was planning on it basically ruining my life. I have to be rather careful to not let my mind get away from me – for things are rarely as bad or as good in real life as they are in my mind. 

I started my first blog in February of 2004. It seems crazy to me that now it is 2007 and I’ve had a blog for three years. Through my blog I have had to opportunity to interact with so many intelligent, inquisitive, thoughtful and hilarious people.

When I think back on where I was this time last year –mentally and emotionally– I feel much more stable, much less likely to let my insecurities and doubt about where my life is heading control me and drive me to make poor decisions. I don’t necessarily regret where I was this time last year – but I like where I am now better.

The last quarter of this year was uneventful compared to the first three quarters, except for the fact that I got a precious furry friend. Maybe my precious furry friend is helping me be stable. Who knows.

First Quarter – Stressed while at the same time paralyzed in my job search. Unsure of where I wanted to live, what I wanted to do, who I wanted to be. January and February are always depressing to me. Thankfully the weather was tremendous and I took a lot of frustration out on the trails at the botanical garden. Fling with boy was fun, then crashed and burned with little ill effect to me or to him. It is amazing how easy you can get over something when you really realize that although you might both be great people, you are just absolutely all wrong for each other. Good lesson.   Joined the Long Beach Polar Bear Club with Libby and Steve. 

Second Quarter – Gave up stressing about job (or lack there of) – got more concerned with getting my act together so I could actually graduate. Went skiing and remembered why snow and sunshine wheat makes me happy. Forgot about fling. Met new boys. Found something safe about dating boys who are at least as comfortable being single as I am, and who are totally fine with the fact that I don’t know what I want because they don’t either. Met my best blog friend in real life. Graduated from law school. Got a bike.

Third Quarter – Gah. That is almost all I can say. Studied for the bar. Took the bar. Rode my bike some. Ran a lot. Talked on the phone a lot. Sent a lot of text messages. Drank a LOT of diet coke. Ate a lot of Luna Bars. Moved away from Athens . Went on some amazing trips. Libby and I spent a tumultuous week out west with our Colorado boyfriends. Said goodbye to the Lodge. Started my job. Seriously considered moving to Colorado.

Fourth Quarter – Went to a lot of football games. Settled into job. Dreamed about Colorado. Reveled in the AMAZING fall we had in Georgia this year. Accepted the fact that I really really really love Georgia and I would have a hard time leaving. Got my precious furry friend Briscoe. Found out I passed the bar exam. Blacked out from relief. Went to New York. Trained for and ran in a half marathon on thanksgiving. Haven’t run since. Spent some time in Athens and Atlanta.  Did not spend enough time in Augusta, but did make start to make friends here. Watched a few murder trials. Went on walks with Briscoe. Everyone I know got engaged. Filled up half my weekends of 2007 with wedding dates.

2006 was a transitional year – and I’m not sure that 2007 won’t also be a transitional year. But I think it was a good year. I’ll get it an A-. I want to reserve the As and A+s for the truly exceptional. One of these days my brain is going to accept the fact that I am no longer in school. But not today.

I hope you all had a fantastic new year’s eve and that this year proves to be better than the last. I love you all and you will never know how much you reading this means to me. Kisses.