the thin line between optimism and delusion…

I say the STUPIDEST things when I’m running. 

Actually, that isn’t always true.  I like to talk when I run.  A lot people have a hard time running and chatting at the same time.  I’m not one of those people.  I like to talk.  But it doesn’t bother me if who ever I am running with has a hard time running and talking at the same time.  I’m happy to just tell a story while we run.  It is nice, because the other person isn’t trying to interrupt me during a long drawn out story that probably has little to no relevance on their life.  Most of my friends who run with me say they don’t mind because the stories are mostly entertaining.  I get bored when I run so I like the mental challenge of trying to remember the events of some past drama and relate them to someone else in an engaging way.  It gives me something to concentrate on and I can normally make sense. 

But, if I am running by myself, listening to music, and I see someone I know, and I stop and talk, I never make any sense at all.  I call people by the wrong name, I say things like, good morning!  when it is late afternoon, I answer no to questions that I mean to answer yes to, I stammer, I stutter, and I all around sound like an idiot.  I try to get away as quickly as possible.  It is like I have the correct words in my head, but they don’t come out of my mouth.  And it ALWAYS happens when my run is interrupted by a conversation.   

Then I spend the rest of my run thinking – YOU IDIOT!  Why did you say that?  Now they think you don’t know who they are/can’t speak english/don’t have a good grasp on the world around you. 

I guess running is just such an escape for me, and I zone out to such a strong degree that it takes me a little while to get back to the real world.  This is why running trails is really in my best interest.  Less people to run into who want to talk.   Too bad there aren’t any good trails around here.

p.s I painted my finger nails red.  It makes me real happy for some reason.