While driving down the road this morning on the way to school, I realized a few things. The first one was that I had left my water bottle in the sink – full and ready to go. The next was that I had no idea where I was even going, since I didn’t bother to check the class schedule for room assignments and a quick glance at the clock indicated that I was going to be late, wherever I was headed. In addition, I didn’t have my mobile so I couldn’t call anyone and obtain room assignment because I left my phone at Jessica Faye’s house last night.
I know I have said this before, but I really do hope that one day I am able to be a fully functional adult.
Now that I am at school, I have discovered that I have no willpower. And no concentration. And this has to stop. From now on I am going to be super useful and productive. I am going to do my homework and get my act together. I am not going to do these things because I think they will help me get a good grade (I’m not that naive), I am going to do them because I need some sort of gauge in my life to tell me that I’m not lazy and that I am capable of finishing a task. I know I’m not going to make a list and check things off – mostly because I don’t believe in lists and also because I would probably lose the list (which would be detrimental to the entire process and just be another failure). I’ve got to get some order in my life, otherwise I will have bad self esteem concerning my place in this world.
And we all know bad self esteem is the root of most evils.
From now on – productivity simply because it will make me a happier and more fulfilled individual. And I like being happy and fulfilled.
the thin line between optimism and delusion... 
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