Archive for August 22nd, 2005

dang it

I had a well thought out interesting post about my thoughts on how I was going to live the next year, and I deleted it by accident.  This really irks me. 

So instead, I will make this decision, out loud, for y’all to hold me to:

I will not let my fear of failure keep me from pursuing the things that I want to do.  I think fear has been holding me back for a long time, and this is something that has to change.  Just because I might not be the best at something, doesn’t mean that I don’t have something to contribute. 

Just because I’m not the MOST qualified doesn’t mean that I’m not qualified. 

And just because I know that my confidence and/or lack of confidence in certain areas is all in my head doesn’t mean that it doesn’t manifest itself in my decisions. 

Just because I’m paranoid doesn’t mean someone isn’t following me. 

Just because I think I’m hungover doesn’t mean I don’t have a fever.

Just because swatch watches are the best doesn’t mean I don’t secretly covet nike watches.  (OMG, Lenox is getting a SWATCH STORE!!  The ATL is moving up in the world of fashion). 

Just because people that hold hands on campus in broad daylight should be shot by a firing squad, doesn’t mean that holding hands is always bad (jennifer, feel free to disagree). 

Just because the heat index is 110 degrees outside, doesn’t mean that people don’t still drink coffee. 

Just because I’m taking 17 hours worth of class doesn’t mean that I’m going to study.  Okay, maybe I will.  Or maybe I’ll drop a class.  Did I tell you I’m taking 17 hours?  Last fall I took 12.  I’ve lost my everloving mind.  I think it is the heat. 

Just because my thoughtful post was deleted doesn’t exonerate me from the commitment I have to keep y’all updated on my thoughts.

This is my favorite time in the semester, only because exams seem so ridiculously far away and it doesn’t seem real.  I love it.  I’m in a fantabulous mood.  I might even go for a run in the heat. I could do without the heat.  92 degrees, feels like 99 degrees.  Looks like this:

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    I woke up Saturday morning and I felt awful.  And I mean awful.  I attributed this to having drank too many beers friday night.  But I had to get out of bed, at least long enough to climb into bed with Katie so we could buy Dolly Parton tickets.  She is coming to birmingham, and Katie moved to birmingham yesterday and abandoned me, but at least we get to go see Dolly.  I really, really, really love Dolly.  She is awesome and my hero since I was 4 years old. 
    So I get out of bed, and I feel terrible.  Katie and I decide that maybe we should eat something and we might feel better.  We go to zaxby’s, and it was miserable, because zaxby’s is really close to our house, and my car didn’t really have time to cool off before we got there, and my car has a hard time cooling off when it is sitting still, and the sun was beating down on us, and we thought we were going to die.  Once we get our big drinks and our chicken finger plates, we drive home, sweating. 
    As it turns out, I actually felt too bad to eat my zaxby’s.  Anyone that knows me very well, knows that my illness was very serious if I couldn’t even choke down some zaxby’s.  I couldn’t eat anything.  Watching people on tv eat anything even grosses me out.  So I start really thinking about how much I drank last night.  And I realize that there is no way that I drank enough to feel as bad as I am feeling, in addition, I don’t have a headache, or any real symptoms, I just feel like I am going to die.  Plus, my supposed hang over is getting worse, not better. 
    Turns out I have a fever.  When I finally checked it late in the day, it was over 101 degrees.  I haven’t had a fever in years.  Let me tell you, having a fever is no joke, it really puts you out of commission.  It was all I could do to climb back up the steps and get into bed.  I didn’t go back downstairs until sunday afternoon, and then only briefly before getting back into bed. 
    Luckily, my parents were in town, and Katie was packing, so they both took good care of me.   Of course, my mom comes three steps into my room and says, I’m not going to get any closer, because I don’t want whatever you have.  I was like, thanks mom, that is so loving of you.  But she did bring me chicken noodle soup, which really is just feel good food.  I couldn’t eat it until sunday afternoon, but it did make me feel better. 
    Mama also rented me a season of CSI, which I haven’t ever really watched, but I enjoyed it.  And I got a lot of sleep, and I am feeling much better today, which is good, because I was going to lose it if I had to lay in bed anymore.  I was getting quite bored. 

I think a lot of people are getting sick right now.  Anyone else not feeling well?  Anyone?  Anyone?

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