Archive for September, 2005

Chat Room

So, Ally, Kipp and I were chatting on IM today, during class, in a chat room.  It was hilarious.  Here are some excerpts.   Obviously, it was a lot funnier in class, but still, funny. 

allyescott5: hey – is John  a big

allyescott5: he always looks hungover

 CKP10: I don’t know John  really

SupesK: No.  He’s from California.  He is
also operating on West Coast time.  It’s like
3:00 a.m. for him.

allyescott5: he’s been here for 3 years

CKP10: ha

allyescott5: you’d think the jet lag would wear

SupesK: He has a very sensitive biological

While discussing our visiting professor and trying very hard not to laugh and bring attention to ourselves:

SupesK: And he’s from Sandwich . . . or
Cape Cod if he is trying to impress a girl.

CKP10: what does that mean?

allyescott5: I think its funny that his hometown
is called Sandwich

CKP10: that is hilarious

allyescott5: I am from Grilled Cheese, GA

SupesK: I would wear Sandwich, Mass.
t-shirts everyday if that was where I was
from.  With a picture of Reuben or
something on it.

SupesK: And a slogan like . . .  "Sandwich,
Mass.  It’s tasty!"

CKP10: I’m from Hoagie, N.C.

allyescott5: ahahhhahahahaa

CKP10: stop

CKP10: y’all are killing me

CKP10: I can’t breathe

allyescott5 has left the room.

CKP10: where did she go

SupesK: Her and I were about to lose it
back here.

SupesK: I’m literally chewing on a napkin
right now.

CKP10: she and I

CKP10: ?

allyescott5 has entered the room.

allyescott5: yeahI am looking at hurricane
victim footage to try not to laugh anymore


And discussing why some of our textbooks never make it out of the locker:

SupesK: There’s a book in here?

CKP10: I mean, I don’t have one

CKP10: but I think alex does

CKP10: and christian and rakesh are
sharing one

allyescott5: hahhahahahhha

SupesK: I think it is in my locker room. 
Right now I have my copyright book.

allyescott5: I have a book for this class that
I’ve never opened

 allyescott5: it lives in my locker with my crim
pro book

 CKP10: it is shy

CKP10: and doesn’t want to get a sunburn or breathe second hand smoke

CKP10: scared of cancer

CKP10: knows what happens if you get
cancer better than most law books

SupesK: Crim Pro.  Definitely never
opened that book last year.

allyescott5: that and its suffering from a totally
irrational fear of the police state

CKP10: well that is Crim Pro’s fear

CKP10: Health book is afraid of cancer

 allyescott5: yeah, those two hanging out is a
recipe for antisocial behavior

CKP10: no kidding

CKP10: no wonder they are so boring

allyescott5: and crazy

allyescott5: let’s never forget crazy

 CKP10: sitting in the dark, discussing all
your fears, is bad for you

 allyescott5: yeah, especially if you are doing it
with a bottle of vodka and pictures from
your childhood

 CKP10: stop it

allyescott5: I’ve never done that by the way

allyescott5: I just know someone who did

SupesK: Yeah, it’s usually not Vodka. 

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If I contrast today, with yesterday and Tuesday, today has been terribly unsuccessful.  On Tuesday I went to six hours of class, ran 3 miles, went to the grocery store, cooked dinner, unloaded and reloaded my dishwasher, did two loads of laundry, and watched the television shows I wanted to watch.  Yesterday was mildly less productive, but I was at school from 8:30-6:30, and so I didn’t have time to run, but I did change my sheets on my bed and another load of laundry. 

But let’s talk about the unproductive things I’ve done since 7 pm last night.

#1.  I locked myself out of my house.  While taking the trash out.  Now, I know what you are thinking, that takes a special kind of stupid.  Yes, I recognize this fact.  But, I was talking on the phone, and I wasn’t paying attention, and what do you know, I’m locked out. 

Getting back into my apartment was a bit of a trick, because Ali and Chris have a key, and Cristina has a key, but Cristina was in the ATL, and Chris was in Chattanooga, and Ali was at their house without a car.  My lifesaver in all of this was Katie Jackson, who was sweet enough to come pick me up and take me to Ali’s house and bring me home.  I mean, honestly, Katie has had to drive me around a lot lately, she is a saint. 

One of the worst noises in the world is the click of your house door closing behind you a split second after you realize that the door is locked. 

#2.  I left my pocketbook in class this morning.  While leaving class, I was chatting with Lauren and I said, you know, I feel like I’m leaving something, but I don’t think I am!  And we laughed about how we carry around so much stuff that when we don’t have our arms full we feel like we are forgetting something.  But, turns out, I was actually leaving something.  Something fairly important. 

Once I realized it, the next class had started, and I knew it was a first year class, and when I opened the door, I heard a woman’s voice.  It was in a room where there is a hallway to get to the room, kind of like a movie theater.  I didn’t have any female teachers first year, and the only 1L female teacher I know is very strict and would not appreciate me interrupting her class.  Most of the teachers I know wouldn’t have minded, which is why I would have risked it if it had been a male voice, but since it wasn’t, I didn’t think it was safe.  I even made Christy stick her head in the door and listen to see if she thought it was the scary teacher, but we couldn’t be sure, so I didn’t risk it. 

Instead, Christy bought me lunch and I had to interrupt the next class, because we didn’t make it back in time for the break. 

Of course, all of this is on top of the lost ATM card of a few weeks ago.  I’m telling you, I need a keeper.  Someone needs to look out for me.  Follow me around and pick stuff up that I drop. 

But, the whole point of this post was to tell you that I haven’t done anything productive today, but I have had lots of human interaction with some humans that I like a lot, and I think that makes today more productive than the other two days. 

Actually, I think you need both kinds of day, and I hope that I can keep a balance of the two successful days from now on, and not ever see a day as a waste. 

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I apologize for not updating in a couple of days, I’m irresponsible and y’all deserve more from me than that. 

Sometimes I think I don’t have anything to say, but those of you who know me in real life know that isn’t true, so I guess sometimes I think the things I have to say aren’t that interesting. 

But if you don’t think I’m interesting, then you can click on one of the interesting links I have on the sidebar. 

So, that being said –

I bought a 1L a coke out of the vending machine today.  He felt bad, and didn’t want to spend my dollar, but I told him I owed everyone at this school a lot of money for cokes, so it was okay. 

Everyone in my corporations class is a lot more with it and together than I am as far as this class goes.  But Tyson did get yelled at for coming into class late, which was pretty funny. (notice, that if I saw this, it means I wasn’t late.  That’s right, I was on time). 

My 8:30 class was cancelled for this morning, which gave me the opportunity to hit snooze hundreds of times.  I mean, I wish I was intelligent enough just to resent my alarm for twenty minutes later.  That way, I would actually get twenty minutes of sleep, instead of waking up every five. 

Did y’all watch that game last night?  It was CRAZY!!!!  I can’t believe Tennessee pulled it out in the end.  Craziness.  I was disappointed by the first half of the game, because it was pretty boring and LSU was killing Tennessee.  I don’t like either team, but I at least wanted it to be a good game.  Well, I got my wish. 

Apparently the reason Vanderbilt is 4-0 is that they have finally gotten some thugs on their football team

I need to go the grocery store very badly.  I need some food for lunch, and some pop tarts, and some propel, and some coffee, and some half and half for my coffee.  Maybe I will cook something.  Who knows. 

I finally got my new atm card and got it activated.  This is very exciting because I can now eat at places other than restaurants that take bulldog bucks.  (before I cancelled my card, after I lost it, I put $100 on my UGA card, because I had the card number.  which is how I was able to buy the 1L a coke this morning). 

Even though I’m a terrible student, I actually like being in class.  Because, in class, I’m not suppose to be doing anything.  I’m allowed to play on the internet.  I’m not wasting time on the internet.  I’m keeping myself from losing it during class. 

House comes on tonight.  Who is excited?  I can’t wait!!!!

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Did I ever tell you about the one thing I was afraid of as a child?  I didn’t?  Okay, well, here is the one thing I was afraid of as a child:

Being Buried Alive. 

Now, I’m sure you are thinking to yourself, what a ridiculous thing to be afraid of, what are the chances that you are going to be buried alive?  Especially as a child in augusta georgia. 

Irrational as it was, it has always been my biggest fear.  I can’t think of a worse way to die.  Honestly.  I would rather starve.  Or burn.  Or freeze.  OMG, I mean, I might rather be eaten alive than buried alive. 

Whatever.  Stokes is buried alive in the season finale of CSI, which they are replaying tonight, and I have been DYING the whole episode, because I really can’t take it.  Now he is being eaten alive by fire ants.  While being buried.  This is adding a whole new element to my worse nightmare. 

I swear I’m not going to be able to sleep for weeks.  I’m a wreck.  I shouldn’t be allowed to watch television by myself. 


I need some help.   I can’t breathe.  I’m suffocating.  Stokes can’t die like Kate.  It just can’t happen.  Someone wake me up. 

And I won’t even know what happens until tomorrow at this time. 

This is why I like tv on dvd.

update:  Stokes doesn’t die.  Good thing, otherwise I would need some serious therapy. 

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From Christy the Colonel:  Dance Offs are Dangerous.

From Scott who is trying to start a gas panic again:  Rita Could Equal $5
(also see: this and this.  Oh yeah, and this). 

From my gmail:  In India You May Not Kiss the Bride

YAWN.  I am so happy today is over.  I love Thursdays. 


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Good Morning Darlings!

I am so excited that today is Wednesday, because when Wednesday is over, it becomes Thursday, and Thursday is my favorite day of the week. 

I barely made it out of bed this morning, although I did awake refreshed, which was nice.  I have been sleeping well lately, even though I still hate getting out of bed. 

It is such a glorious day outside.  For some reason when I woke up this morning I thought I heard rain, but it was just my ceiling fan and my early morning stupor.  I should have known that it wasn’t raining, it hasn’t rained in years around here. 

Has anyone been looking at the moon the past couple of nights?  It has been AMAZING.  I don’t know when I have ever seen such an amazing moon, and I love to look a the moon. 

Molly and Ashley came by to see me last night at 10 pm, and I was in the bed, watching tv, they scared me to death.  Actually, it could have been worse.  And I was so excited to see them, I really needed some more human interaction to complete my day.  I’m so glad Molly lives in athens, and I’m really excited about Ashley, she is precious and I want to hang out with her more. 

I’m not skittish, and I don’t mind living by myself, and I almost always feel safe, but I did have a dream the other night that I woke up at 4 am, and that there was a book in my bed, a book I knew I had left downstairs, and that had not been in my bed when I went to sleep, and in my dream I was convinced that someone was wandering around my apartment, moving my stuff around, and was going to get me.  Which is probably the STUPIDEST dream I have ever had. 

Did you see House last night!  OMG!  It was awesome!! 

p.s.  I hope Rita’s life falls apart in the next day.  (the hurricane, I don’t think I actually know anyone named Rita). 

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Here is a conversation I had with my mother this morning over IM (Bella is our bulldog, pictured on the sidebar):

KHP: we bought bella a hot pink sofa
CKP: stop
KHP: from walmart, your daddy had to get it for her
CKP: sweet
KHP: it folds out into a bed
KHP: we are going to give it to her for christmas
CKP: well
CKP: christmas is a long time away
KHP: I know  i hope she forgets that see saw it
KHP:  It  is a Bratz baby sofa
KHP: it is in the toy section
CKP: are y’all really not going to give it to her till christmas?
KHP: we are going to try to wait
CKP: well, I can’t wait to see it
CKP: I’m sure she will be excited

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I’m famous


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A Sunday in September

(this is me giving myself a pep talk, I like to give pep talks, as those of you who hang out with me can attest to, and sometimes I need a pep talk just as bad as anyone.  If you need a pep talk, come find me). 

Sometimes the day after I drink, I have a really hard time sleeping in the morning.  This is especially true if I have been getting up early in the morning anyway.  And, alcohol being the depressant that it is, has a tendency to make the first few minutes of being awake against my will unpleasant.  Friday morning I thought it would be okay if I just never got out of bed, that I could just sleep for the whole weekend and no one would even notice or care, and besides, I was never going to drink a drop of alcohol ever again anyway.  Granted, these bouts of depression are intensified by my flair for the dramatics, and never last more that a few moments, but they have gotten me thinking. 

Last week, Megan wrote about Sunday Depression.  I think it is important that we all discuss this depression problem because it makes me feel unbalanced and I hate nothing more than feeling unbalanced, but it does make me feel better that it affects a lot of people.  It isn’t all about the alcohol either, the alcohol just intensifies it.  And she quoted me as saying that going to church on Sunday makes me feel better about my Sunday Depression.  The depression really isn’t localized on Sunday, it happens other times too, but as Megan pointed out, the reason it seems so bad on Sunday is because you don’t have anything else to do but sit around and think about anything stupid you might have done, or any little rejection you might have suffered, or any little mistake you made for the entire week.  And, although I do believe that self evaluation is important, wallowing is not healthy. 

Last February I was in Steamboat Springs Colorado visiting friends, and the altitude and alcohol really hit me hard the first night we were there and I ended up going home early because I had overdone it a little, and I think I might have even started a fight with one of my friends that night.  I was "that girl" that night.  Regardless, it is one morning that I remember waking up and feeling terrible.  Not just because I thought my head was going to explode if I didn’t keep my body horizontal, but also because I had acted in a way that made me unhappy, with people that I cared a lot about and didn’t get to see very often, and I was very disappointed in myself. 

But I didn’t have time to sit and dwell on this (dwelling is one of my problems), because I had to suck it up and drink some coffee and face my friends and go skiing.  That day, while on the ski lift, I realized a few things.  I realized that my friends didn’t actually care, and were happy to be on the slopes with me.  I rediscovered how beautiful the earth is, and how great God is to make it so amazingly awesome.  I realized that had I layed around all day I would still feel almost as bad as I did when I woke up, instead of feelings 1000 times better.  And I realized that the past shouldn’t taint the present.  This is something I have a hard time with, not just with myself, but with people in general.  I’m judgmental about how someone’s past should affect them now.  I say things like, "I’d never get over it if I did ______." But I really hope this isn’t true.   

I hope that I’m capable of moving on.  I hope that I can make it through the mistakes of my life.  Because I’m going to make them.  I am very risk averse and I don’t like to make mistakes.  It isn’t that I refuse to be wrong, it isn’t about being wrong.  I don’t like being wrong, but making mistakes is different. 

Back to the fact that going to church makes me feel better on Sundays, it is more than the fact that it gets me out of bed and makes me brush my hair and see my friends.  It is about being given a second chance.  I am reaffirmed every Sunday morning that God is working on me. I know God loves me and Christ loves me, and that I can’t do anything to change that, but I don’t think I live as though I believe that.  I need to be reminded.  Over and over again. 

I was listening to a praise song in the car that said "Come as you are" in part of the chorus.  And I realized that I have a hard time with God’s invitation to come as you are.  I struggle accepting this invitation.  I would like to get my act together on my own a little bit more before I come.  Which is obviously why I get so frustrated, because I think I can do it on my own, and I can’t.  And all that happens is that I feel like I’ve failed because I can’t do it on my own.  Which is so silly, because I’m not suppose to be able to do it by myself.  And going to church on Sunday helps me put things in perspective. 

So here is my new perspective.  I refuse to let my shortcomings and my struggles impede my strengths and prevent me from fully giving of the things I have to offer.  I’m not going to dwell on and/or blow out of proportion the ups and downs of life.  I have also been a bit jaded lately, which is also going to stop now, I’m going to remember that being optimistic and thinking the best of people and situations is the only way I can be happy, even if it means that I am much more likely to get hurt and disappointed in the process. 

Lastly, I am going to learn how to be happy (not that I’m not happy, just kind of restless) here in Athens Georgia right now, I’m here for a reason, and when my reason for being here runs out, I will have a reason to be somewhere else, and it isn’t imperative that I know the location of that somewhere else.  I really do love it here, and I want to soak it all up for as long as possible. 

p.s. I’m going to start taking my adderall again in the right dose, it really does so much for my ability to focus, and going for weeks without ever being able to focus on anything raises my stress level tremendously and wears on me slowly, until I hit a point where I start to be unhappy.  I get such a release from focusing – and I forget how good it feels to focus when I haven’t been taking adderall.  Plus, it will make me cut down on my caffeine consumption.

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I love Peanuts.

Peanuts2005203480908_3This is how I feel today.   Actually, most days. 

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