the thin line between optimism and delusion…

ever since I exited my torts final and came back to my apartment I have been laying in my bed. I absolutely froze during my exam because the air conditioning(even though it was really only 50 degrees outside this morning) was blowing directly on me all during the exam. And I hate being cold.
So I have been under the covers since 1:30 today, except when maggie came over and we went to zaxby’s for some cookies and a coke. But other than that I have been in the bed. I’m not real sure what has made me decide to be so worthless, but I think i deserve it.
Studying makes me sore. Sitting in a chair, making flash card, leaning over a table has left me in much pain. Monday, I couldn’t go to sleep because my neck and my back hurt so much. And lets not ever talk about my wrist. My wrist, my hand, my ulna nerve, my elbow, all in serious pain. and lets keep in mind that this is all from making flash cards. because I haven’t written more than four sentences at a time on a piece of paper with a pen in about a year. or at least since last summer. typing is the way I communicate. I mean, I think it is a bunch of crap this whole thing about carpel tunnel thing from typing, carpel tunnel is from writing with a pen. and at least when you are typing you can sit up straight, writing with a pen you have to lean over.
I know I should be studying, but instead I have watched love actually (which is really a lot sadder of a movie than i remember, a little too much reality), talked to maggie about boys and crushes and how I am hopeless and how all her exboyfriends are not that cute (which is weird cause she is beautiful)and then I watched the crocodile hunter (who I love) and Two guys and a girl (which I also love) and jennifer and I talked about the people (or groups) that we didn’t like (or that didn’t like us) in college, and then I watched two guys and a girl again, and now I am watching friends. (I also love extreme home makeover). Then i plan on watching will and grace and ER. I have been very good all semester at not getting caught up in television, but tonight I need a new charge.
Some people recharge by eating, or drinking a lot, or running, or talking on the phone, or reading a book, or people watching, or hiking, or dancing. Actually, these are all of my favorite ways to recharge. But a couple of times a year, I really need to watch a bunch of movies and television by myself (or maybe with a choice person) in order to get my life back in order. Actually, I think I just needed to be distracted from thinking about all the different stuff. Like after I took the LSAT I couldn’t sleep for a couple of nights until I went on a 23 mile hike across the divide (I took the LSAT in boulder). Different times call for different measures, and in order to be on top of things next week I needed a break.
I love you all and I miss you all, since I don’t even see my law school friends much lately, but I promise to call everyone in my phone book on friday night and not to remember talking to you later because I also promise to be a bit of a nightmare and to drink too much champagne. may 7th, may 7th, may 7th…….