the thin line between optimism and delusion…

I apologize to everyone for not updating for about a week. I think I was suffering from post traumatic stress after our exams. No, really, there was something wrong with me. Friday night was a disaster, and I am confident that I made a fool of myself, but hey, what can you do.
Saturday I went out with Travers and his friends, not because I wanted to go out drinking again, but because they have a tendency to think I am a snob if I don’t go out with them. And since i can’t tolerate being unliked, I sucked it up and went out.
Sunday, my family ate lunch together, and made fun of each other, even though the only thing my mom asked for for mothers day was for no one to make sarcastic comments and to be pleasant during lunch. Well, that didn’t happen. After lunch we had some family bonding and watched the first season of IN LIVING COLOR dvd that I bought my mom for mothers day. That was fun. Then I went to Charleston to meet Jennifer at wild dunes, which was lots of fun. I needed to go somewhere that I didn’t have to talk to anyone and recover from my post traumatic stress.
Got back from Charleston last night, and went out with travers again, and Mary Beth, who is too cute. We had a big time. Before I went out, my mom and i realized that Bo (our lhasa apsa) had eaten a bag of cadbury mini eggs and everyone knows dogs aren’t allowed to eat chocolate, so we had to make him drink some hydrogyn peroxide, and make him sleep outside (he is fine this morning). I can’t find the most recent harry potter book in my house and i want to read it and I am irritated that I can’t find it. maybe it is under my bed….
Don’t think i am going to do the write on. And here are the reasons why.
1. I came to law school with the intent to obtain qualification in a profession that I thought I might enjoy on some level. qualification, not excellence.
2. Law school is something to do for the next two years, something to keep me from having to get a job.
3. I have always prided myself on being a severe under-achiever, and being in law school has made this catagorization of myself harder to maintain, and being on a journal would be even more detrimental to my personal image.
4. I have post traumatic stress from finals and I can’t be expected to think right now. I am handicapped.
5. I will not have the grades to be on anything no matter how hard I try.
6. If my brief was any indication, no journal wants me anyway.
7. There has to come a point when we know our own limitations and not waste our time on fruitless endeavors which, even if we succeed, will bring pleasure only through pride in ones self, and pride is the root of all evils. I would not enjoy being on a journal for the activity, I would enjoy being on a journal because it would make me feel smart and intelligent and like I was winning (very unhealthy).
8. I don’t want to write the stupid paper, I want to sit around and watch television and eat chocolate and drink coke.
9. My dad doesn’t pressure me to do stuff like law review because he doesn’t take my career seriously, but anyway, I would need pressure in order to write this paper.
10. No one is going to hire me anyway, who cares if I am on law review?

If ya’ll can relate, don’t do it. I miss you all and I hope you are having a fantabulous break.