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Archive for May 4th, 2005

A while back Pete took some time to examine how Girls are Crazy and Boys are Stupid. But this bride is a special kind of Crazy, and this groom is a special kind of Stupid.

5 reasons why John Mason…

WANTS TO MARRY HER:
1. She’s not really like that, he says. “She’s a victim here as well.”
2. She makes him “happy,” he said. She just “needs some help.”
3. He wants her to be his babies’ mama: “Her mom always says she was put on this Earth to be a mother.”
4. She didn’t just leave for kicks, he said, even though she “did end up in Las Vegas.”
5. They’ve not done it yet: “In God’s eye, our relationship is still very pure.” ******

SHOULDN’T MARRY HER:
1. She skipped out on you before the wedding, setting off nationwide
search.
2. She skipped out on you before the wedding, setting off nationwide
search.
3. She skipped out on you before the wedding, setting off nationwide
search.
4. She skipped out on you before the wedding, setting off nationwide
search.
5. She skipped out on you before the wedding, setting off nationwide
search.

***as an added footnote – they live together. I find this confusing. Does anyone else find this confusing in light of #5?

I think all of this is surprisingly funny. I know that this is obviously a cry for help, and I do truly hope that Jennifer is able to work everything out and I really admire her fiance for sticking with her.

But, she had 14 bridesmaids. And invited 600 people to the wedding. And really made a lot of people mad. If I was a bridesmaid I would be mad. Being in a wedding cost a lot of time and effort and money. Plus, this is the second engagement she has broken off. I mean, I guess there must be something about this girl that causes men to propose, but whoa, lets try to limit the number of lives we ruin while searching for the person of our dreams. The New York Daily Times article also says that he gave her her diamond back. Why didn’t she have it with her? Don’t you think leaving the diamond behind should have been a good indication that she had intentions of leaving? And what about the fact that she bought the bus ticket a week in advance? It wasn’t like she was running and she just keep running cause she couldn’t stop like Forest Gump. This was planned. And it cost a lot of money. I don’t think this should be rewarded.

I love the billboard. I love it, it cracks me up (but note that it says she is 5’8 and 123 pounds. I’m 5’8, and if I was 123 pounds, I would be in the hospital – I look sickly at 135. p.s. Jessie Faye notices this). The little bride running away that has been added is hilarious. Atlanta has some of the craziest billboards – previously my favorite one was on I-85 coming north from the airport that is bright yellow and says – Welcome to Atlanta – Home of So So Def Recording. But I think I might have a new favorite billboard. And the one on 316 with the huge picture of Ronald Reagan – and says – Farewell Mr. President – the World owes you a great debt – or whatever it says – is really weird. Anything with a picture of someone’s face on it is great.

(things that some other people had to say about this that I thought were funny):

Veiled Conceit:

Runaway Blogger – I was kidnapped, I tells ya, and the kidnappers were Hispanic. Or at least I think they were. At least one of them was definitely ethnic. It was dark in the van, so I really couldn’t tell. Pray for me.

Begging the Question:

Bride of the Prankees – My guess is that the kind of person who is loopy enough to get to that point isn’t thinking clearly enough to worry about having to pay for some search dogs.

Manolo:

By the comparison, the Princess Diana she only had five maids of the bride. The Jackie O. when she was the Jackie B. and married the JFK, she had only ten of the maids of the bride.

Manolo says, although the Manolo he is usually in favor of the opulence and the luxury, it is nonetheless the rule of the Manolo that if the girl she feels the need to have more than ten maids of the bride–more than the Jackie O. (nee B.) needed to marry the JFK–she should not be getting married.

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I’m falling apart

I have carpal tunnel. And my elbow hurts. And I have a headache. And my body is sore from running too long on monday. I’m getting a crick in my neck.

Did I ever mention I was a hypochondriac?

I’m going to fail out of school.

(but I did get to eat breakfast this morning at five star with Lawdawg and The Davis. It was so yummy).

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