the thin line between optimism and delusion…

I can’t decide whether I should study in the annex tomorrow, or the student learning center. 

I also can’t decide whether or not I should go to the grocery store tonight. 

If I did go to the grocery store, what would I buy?

If I don’t go to the grocery store, what will I eat?

I’m anticipating waking up in the middle of the night and being frightened by the thunderstorms.  I love thunderstorms, but I prefer having someone to watch them with in the middle of the afternoon with a bottle of wine and deep thoughts about life and a dog who is afraid. 

I don’t like large hail and strong winds in the middle of the night. 

I can’t decide if I think it is a good idea for me to try to push through some more work tonight, since I didn’t get much done today, or if I should just go home. 

I keep forgetting that I have to go to the DMV tomorrow and get my fingers printed, all of which are a huge pain.  I keep thinking all I have to do is get up and make it back here to the library at a decent time. 

I forgot about bible study tonight because I get really confused during finals and I seem to be under the impression that the world stops turning and everything else stops for me to study. 

I can’t decide whether to put my books back in my locker, or just take them with me to the car.  Either way it seems like a hassle. 

I can’t remember where I parked my car. 

I feel like I deserve a treat before I go to sleep, but I can’t think of anything that I actually want. 

The back of my car looks like a bomb exploded in it. 

I guess my room probably looks the same way.  Maybe I should just blow up my apartment and start over.  Nah. 

But I am in a rather chipper mood despite the fact that I lack decision making skills and have short term memory loss. 

I wonder what I can watch on tv when I get home.  Maybe I’ll read one of my new books. 

Decisions, decisions. 

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The nervous breakdowns, anxiety dreams, and irritability have begun. 

I apologize to anyone who has come in contact with me in the past week or who has to come in contact with me in the next two weeks. 

I promise that it isn’t you, it is me. 

Other than that, I had a spectacular Thanksgiving and I have so many things to be thankful for, I’ll probably make a list for y’all later. 

But, for now, I’m studying Real Estate Transactions and dwelling on the fact that the DMV is closed today and I therefore I have to wait until Tuesday to finish my bar application.  Things I should have done in the past month – but didn’t – and now regret. 

I’m still in Augusta, I’m not sure when I’m heading back, I guess it depends on how much I can get done here.  Hyperventilation in full effect.

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I apologize for not having anything interesting to say today, I have a bunch of work I need to do – I know that sounds ludicrous, but I promise that it is true. 

So, if I can get most of my work done, maybe I’ll have something interesting to say. 

Actually – I’ll make y’all a little list. 

–  There is a conspiracy at this school involving the vending machines and snickers and peanut m&ms.  Come find me, I’ll tell you about it, I’m pretty bitter. 

–  It is seriously cold.  Christy and I were complaining about the cold yesterday and Kipp said that we southerners have no concept of cold.  But – there is a reason Kipp now lives in Georgia and not in Iowa where he was born – so I don’t really want to hear about how we are being ridiculous. 

–  I have recently purchased ear plugs for blocking out noise in the library.  I can’t believe I never had these before.  It is really weird – I can almost hear the noise around me, but not really, it is more like a buzz, but I can hear my heart beating.  Interesting.  The only problem is I kind of have a hard time getting them into my ears.  I’m learning. 

–  There are a couple things I am rather particular about.  One of which is the kind of rubber bands I put into my hair, and another is the kind of writing utensil I  use.  And both my preferred hair rubber band and my preferred writing utensil are, naturally, difficult to find.  Which irritates me to no end.  I think the rubber band people might have discontinued my preferred hair rubber band.  This is the sort of thing that Libby tells me I’m not allowed to discuss on first dates.  That, and my deep philosophical reasoning behind where I should live.

–  The 1Ls at the table behind me keep talking about black acre and O and A and B and C.  Which is making me tired.  But somehow, making me feel a tad bit better about my life. 

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